Tuesday, August 17, 2010


"Has anything you have ever done made your life better?"

6:00 P.M.
The roads are busy as always..Old Man Vimmi's, Ice Cream Parlour is starting to get it's late evening customers. Even though I am standing far away from the road, I can see the flying dust particles everywhere. The cars, rickshaws, autos, and cycles' noises fall into the ears like bullets..This is India baby! The pollution covered sunset is a sight to kill and die for. Alright, finished with my cigarette. I drop the finished, unlit piece on the floor, squish it with my foot and say, 'Hasta La Vista Baby!' There are many things on the roads, the pavement, and even under my feet..It won't create a difference. Never has..Never will. My eyes, close for a minute...God Help Me..There has been an accident in front of my eyes..The driver covered in blood is crawling out of the car..No sign of movement from the second car. What do I do? Should I go out there and help the passengers. But, other people are also staring. Nobody is moving one inch..It would not create a difference even if I get involved..Besides, God forgives one sin..Let this be it.

9:30 A.M.

My head is still roaming around yesterday's incident. Depositing some money into my bank account might give me some relief. It is crowdy as usual. Long lines are forming around different windows. So, hot in here. Did someone steal your, A.C. or something? It feels good, when you are actually not saying something, just thinking it in your head. Try that, it actually feels good! Feels like you are in, front of a Police Officer, kick him, poke him, he wouldn't mind. Take all your anger off on the Police. Mumbai for me, and I don't know about you. Who am I talking to anyway? All this heat is travelling into my head.

"Put your hands up! This is a robbery. Everybody on the floor."

What the heck? Everybody is starting to put their hands in the air, and lying on the floor. I should do the same thing....Something is touching my head. I am starting to hear a loud voice over my head.

"I don't want any cleverness, or this man's brain will be blown out of his head."

I am a hostage. This man seems serious. He can blow my brain out of my head. I can hear my heart beat. It is very fast. I should try to do something..No, I should stay perfectly still. Why does not anyone do something? He is making me move. All I can see is the people lying on the floor. He is taking me away. What if he takes me outside the bank and shoots me? One bullet, and my body will be lying on the road. The gun is still on my head! I can feel the sweatiness all over my head. My head is feeling light suddenly. I gather my courage and turn around....The robbers are gone. Thank you, God.

12:00 P.M.

Should I call myself lucky? Or, was it just a coincidence? He could have had shot me right away. The man had probably seen a lot of blood. Mine was not different. If he had shot me..Who would have had took me to my grave? I don't know a single person in my area. If my story gets a full stop, no editor is going to publish it..I know no one. I need a glass of Bacardi. On the rocks. I am done making my drink. Take a sip. Feels nice, strong. Most people say, 'Life is like a box of chocolates, you don't know what is going to come next.' Bullshit! Crime, Corruption, Rape, Robbery, Kidnapping. I find this in every corner of this country. Find it at every turn. Nobody takes responsibilty to clean it. Nobody gives a damn about others. I didn't. I was wrong. This is going to be changed. I will change it.

The plug is in the wire. I am turning the computer on. My target....Hacking the Police website. Hacking is pretty easy, if you work for a Computer Software Company, or if you are a Computer Engineer. Or, maybe I am just too drunk!

3:00 P.M.

I am on the location, I printed from the computer yesterday. It is the area of, Drug Lord A.J. Short for, Aditya Jhand. Supplies drugs to everybody in the whole state. From college students to peons to roadside vendors. I walk in the back alley. There is a little window. I kick the window. Still intact! One more kick. Not breaking. Windows also open. I open the window and jump on the floor. There is a faint smell of drugs in the air. I don't know whether it is cocaine, or heroine, or a mixture of several drugs. I have a knife..That's it. I am hiding behind a big drum. All I can see is some men, packaging some packets into big boxes. Looks like they hit a jackpot today........Something has hit me..My brain is falling into darkness.

A.J. - Who are you? What do you want? Why are you here?

Why are you doing this? Don't you believe in respect!

A. J. - I believe in death, destruction, chaos, filth and greed.

"Kill Him!"

He is walking away! The cries of alligator coming from his shoes....The goons are gathering around me. I am tied up. Can't move. Wait, they are bringing some sort of bottle. It has something in it. They are pouring it on my hand. AAAHHHH.....This shit burns..It is acid..My hand feels so dead. It feels like it has been cut off. Augh! Shit, this guy just punched me in my face. He is getting ready to throw the second punch. I need to close my eyes...

5 Minutes Later

My face feels messed up. I can feel the blood dripping on my pants from my face. Not done yet! Something is stinging me in my back. One of the goon is taking something out of my back...Knife..Bastard, stabbed me. He is going for it the second time..So, much for being a superhero!

10 Minutes Later

Flies have started walking on my back. I can feel my sliced skin getting sucked on by the flies. I turn my eyes towards the front. A gun pointing at my face. It is over. This is where he shoots. This is where I die. After one minute, a bullet is going to hit my face point blank, and the pieces of my face are going to be scattered on the floor. And, my body will be lying in a gutter. My heartbeat is going faster again. Experiencing a gun on your head, and facing death right in the barrel are two different cases. I should just close my eyes and say my last prayers. I hear the trigger being clicked. I heard it, the sound of my death approaching towards me....AAAHHHH...My shoulder...The bullet just hit my shoulder.

"I heard something. Go check the door. Maybe it is Police...Lets go."

I am alone, with the pain increasing minute by minute. The ropes they tied me with have become loose. I am trying to break free. I think I got it. Freedom. I am making my way out of the back door. I am running, as fast as I can. I can only hear one thing...My footsteps. My breath is becoming heavy. Can't run anymore. I am on the highway. The bullet is still in my shoulder! It feels like the fire from Hell. The poision is going to start making way through my body. Need to do something fast! I have my knife. It is surely going to hurt at first. AH! The knife is in, and now I take it out. The bullet falls on the road. Blood is dripping on the road, from my shoulder to the road. I am taking my shirt off. Covering my shoulder. Shirt is getting painted red. Need to go home.

12:00 P.M.

It is Thurday. I am on the roof. Staring at the lonely night. I have done my dressing. Now, I understand the true meaning of life. There was a moment... when I used to blame everything and everyone... for all the pain and suffering and vile things that happened to me, that I saw happen to my people. Used to blame everybody. Blamed white people, blamed society, blamed God. I didn't get no answers 'cause I was asking the wrong questions. You have to ask the right questions. And the question is, 'When will the system be cured?' When will the crime rate decrease? When will people quit their selfishness? Corrupt Hain Saale Sab Ke Sab.

Now, I am seeing the true sunset. I have emailed, Police the whereabouts of, A.J. I do not want my picture on the front page, neither do I want any rewards. Because I know, I have done nothing. I am not a superhero. I have found out who am I.

I am jumping off my roof. My body is going to hit the ground and it is going to be all over. The, corruption is not that easy to change. Everybody is involved in it. It attacks your brain, but your heart is still there. Think through your heart..Breath through your heart. Like this wind, which is carrying me softly towards the ground. Feels like I am lying on my bed. But, this bed is a doorway towards the clouds. I found out who I am. I just have one last word.


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