'रवाशोल का नाम सुना है?'
'नहीं!'
'शक्ल तो है ही, अकल भी तेरी बंगाली ही है...उसने एक जनरल और काउंसिलर के घर में बम विस्फोट किये थे!'
'आतंकवादी था?'
'फ्रांस का था, जैसे तू कलकत्ते का है. अनार्किस्ट था....'
'पेंट ख़तम हो गया!'
'लाल वाले से लिख. ८ साल का था जब उसने इस रास्ते पर चलना शुरू किया, ३२ तक पहुँचते ही इसी रास्ते पर उसे दफना दिया और ऊपर से मोनार्की की चादर चढ़ा दी!'
'इंजन शुरू करूँ?'
'पहले ये जो हाथों पर पेंट की मेहँदी लगायी है, उसे तो देखने दे. पांच डिब्बे लग गए पूरी दीवार भरने में...इसे पढ़ तो सही....'
'इंटों के जंगल जब जलें पानी की राह पलट जाए,
अब जा के आँखें खुलीं जब लहू से मुख को धोये!'
'ले, आ गए दोनों. पीछे बैठ...खाली थी?'
'एक हवलदार था, हाकी से मार कर बाहर लिटा दिया था!'
'पंखे में लटका आना था, वर्दी से झल्लों पर पड़ी धूल ही हटती...भगा इसे!'
भोर के अँधेरे में मोटरसायकलें शोर मचाती हुयी गुम हो गयीं. और पीछे उजाला देती आग की लपटें अपनी पकड़ पुलिस चौकी पर मज़बूत कर रही थीं.
पृथ्वी - इस गाँव की आबादी कितनी है? १८००. और इस देश की? रूस से भी जायदा पेड़ उगा रखे हैं यहाँ. ये पेड़ हवा नहीं देते, आदमी की बची - खुची हवा भी बाहर खींच लेते हैं. क्या दिया है इस देश ने तुम्हे?...डेमोक्रेसी से भरा प्रपंच...१ पार्टी बनायो, नोटों से उसका प्रचार करो, और फिर ५ साल तक उस कुर्सी पर जोंक की तरह बैठे रहो. प्रगृति का इतना बुरा हाल है की किसानों को खुद्खुशियाँ करनी पड़ रही हैं..विकास की राह में रोड़ा डाला पड़ा है इस डेमोक्रेसी ने. और, डेमोक्रेसी कहाँ है? जनता के पास? जनता की डोर तो सरकार के पास है..कठपुतलियों की तरह नचाते हैं इस डोर से. २८ स्टेट और ७ यूनियन टेरिटोरी बना रखी हैं. कल को ७ और जुड़ जायेंगीं, और उन राज्यों का थोड़ा प्रोमोशन करेंगे फिर उस में सारा कारागार बंद. किसी भी स्टेट को उठने नहीं देते ये लोग...उसे, तब तक रगड़ते रहो जब तक वो कश्मीर जितनी सुकड़ नहीं जाती. क्या लगता है 'खालिस्तान' क्यूँ बनाया जाना था?... इस सरकार की वजह से, इस सिस्टम की वजह से और इस पूरे देश की वजह से. मकारी की नींव पर खड़ा है ये सारा देश. क्या हम इस गाँव को भी दान कर देंगे? इस गाँव के साथ जुड़े हुए १५ कस्बों की भी क़ुरबानी दे देंगे? अब बस...सहने की भी एक हद होती है, अब तो बर्दाश्त की सारी हदें पार हो चुकी हैं...क्रांति की ये लपट इस गाँव से उठ कर पूरे देश को अपने आगोश में ले लेगी. और उसे हम शुरू करेंगे. उसे वो कंपनी शुरू करेगी जो गंदगी के जाल में फँस - फँस कर तंग आ चुकी है. ये लहर रुकनी नहीं चाहिए!
पंडाल में उपस्थित लोगों के मुखों पर मौत का सा सन्नाटा छा गया. दो पल की ये ख़ामोशी आक्रोश से भरे ललकारों में तब्दील हो गयी.
संजय - संजीव, वो आ गए!
संजय और संजीव के नन्हे कदम पथरीली राह पर सरपट दौड़ते उन मोटरसायकलों का पीछा करने लगे जिन पर सवार युवकों के चेहरे ख़ुशी से चमक रहे थे.
आदिल - लो संजय, संजीव तुम दोनों के लिए शहर से कंचे लाया हुआ हूँ.
अधिकांश - अब गिल्ली छोड़ कर इस से लोगों की आँखें फोड़ना!
विनीत - जिसकी पहले से ही फूटी हुयी है, वो भी आ गया.
आज़ाद - पृथ्वी बुला रहे हैं तुम दोनों को.
अधिकांश और आदिल, पृथ्वी के घर की तरफ चले गए.
शुकला - आज़ादी मिल गयी तुझे?
आज़ाद - अभी तो इस गाँव को नहीं मिली...तो मुझे क्या तू लाठी पर लटका के देगा?
विनीत - नील आ रहा है!
शुकला - क्या हाल है?...कुछ नया लिखा?
नील - सुनो! गुजरात के किनारे हग रहा था जब नरमदा फट गयी. डेम की दीवार से मैं लटका, नीचे मेरी चड्डी उधड़ गयी.
विनीत, शुकला, और आज़ाद के ठहाके गूंज उठे. क्रूरता की मुस्कान तो पृथ्वी के चेहरे पर भी टिकी हुयी थी.
पृथ्वी - अन्दर कौन गया था?
आदिल - जी, वो दोनों!
पृथ्वी - आग किसने लगायी थी?
अधिकांश - विनीत और शुकला ने ही लगायी थी!
पृथ्वी - और तुम दोनों वहां पे मुजरा देख रहे थे. ये घड़ी देख रहे हो..
दीवार पर टंगी घड़ी के ऊपर धूल के टिले और जालों के पहाड़ बने हुए थे, फिर भी किसी तरह घड़ी की सुई हिल रही थी.
पृथ्वी - मेरे दादा की थी. अपनी बीवी से भी ज़यादा प्यार करता था इस से. और अब, वक़्त की धूल से पुती हुयी वहीँ टंगी पड़ी है. पर अब वक़्त की सुई बदलने का समय आ गया है. ये 'अन.र.की को' जो हमारे लिए कर रही है ना, उस से ये वक़्त गुज़र जाएगा. हमे मौका मिलेगा नया वक़्त खरीदने का....अधिकांश, कल तू इसे ले कर उनके दफ्तर जाएगा. वो जो बताएं उसे दिमाग में बिठा लेना. शाम तक लौट आना. रात को समारोह होना है!
अन.र.की. को, का दफ्तर देहातियों से भरा पड़ा था.
'प्रताप केंट से आये हो?'
आदिल - जी.
'लाइन लम्बी है. आधा घंटा रुको!'
अधिकांश - पृथ्वी भ्राता ने भेजा है.
'नुकुल इन्हें अन्दर ले कर जा!'
आदिल - क्या हम आज़ादी की आड़ में सेपरेटिस्ट मूवमेंट नहीं बना रहे?
अधिकांश - अगर, पांडव और कौरव साथ - साथ चिपके रहते न तो महाभारत होती ही नहीं. तुझे क्या लगता है पृथ्वी इस कंपनी का पार्टनर बनने के लिए उन्हें फंड कर रहा है. वो, ये पैसे हमारे गाँव और आस - पास के जो इलाके बना रखे हैं न, उन पर खर्च करने के लिए इधर दे रहा है. अकेले रहेगा तो टैक्स देते हुए रगड़ा जाएगा, और ये सरकारी भांड अपनी कमीज़ बदल लेंगे पर टैक्स नहीं हटायेंगे.
आदिल - पर, ये सब हम शांति से भी तो कर सकते हैं.
अधिकांश - साले, तू चश्मा क्यूँ नहीं खरीद लेता! एक धोती भी ले ले, और फिर गले में चरखा बांध के फैला शांति यहाँ. जो, कोई भूख - नंगा दिखे उसके लिए वही पर सूत की दुकान खोल देना. तेरे कॉलेज में काफी मिल जायेंगे, अहिंसक. उन से जा के सीख ले....अब चुप रह.
आदिल कुछ बोल पाता उस से पहले ही रिशिध सिंह केबिन के अन्दर आ गया.
आदिल - नमस्ते.
रिशिध - बैठे रह...पैसे ले आये हो?
अधिकांश - गिन लेना.
पैसों का बंडल टेबल पर गिरते ही रिशिध के हाथों में चला गया.
रिशिध - पृथ्वी से कहो की महिला प्रचार जायदा जोर पकड़ रहा है. अगले हफ्ते जिस जगह पर किसानों ने बैठना था, उस जगह पर वो अपना कैंप खोलना चाहती हैं.
अधिकांश - उन्हें हटाना तो आपका काम है.
रिशिध - झंडे हर कोई उठा सकता है, बस उन में रंग का फर्क होता है. लड़ाई हमारी, शस्त्र तुम्हारे, और विजय तो शस्त्रों से ही होती है.
अधिकांश और आदिल मोटरसाइकिल पर सवार गाँव के काफी नज़दीक पहुँच चुके थे.
आदिल - इस, कंपनी को फंड तो हम ही कर रहे हैं न. फिर ये कंपनी क्या कर रही है?
अधिकांश - ब्युराक्रसी तोड़ कर अनार्की फ़ैलाने की कोशिश कर रही है.
समारोह शुरू हो चूका था. हारमोनियम और तबलों की ताल के साथ नील की आवाज़ गूंज रही थी.
नील:
खेतों और खलिहानों में, मेरे मिट्टी के पहलवानों में,
देखो जर्जर अकाल पड़ा वो चमकते पकवानों में.
देखो यहाँ आके दिनकर,
दफना दिया इन्होने जनतंत्र,
फावड़े और हल को तोड़कर,
अनार्की को माने गणतंत्र!
पत्थर के रहते थे जहाँ गूंजते जयकारे,
मंदिर में भी पड़ने लगे अब अफीम के लश्कारे,
डेमोक्रेसी का नाद बजे,
कवि और लेखक कब के हारे!
जिस नारी के हाथ सहते थे चूल्हों का ताप,
मनमोहन को तू भूलकर, सोनिया के शब्दों को नाप.
रामधारी सिंह दिनकर तू भी देख गगन से,
सांप भी आजकल निकलते हैं खदर पहन के,
भ्रष्टाचार की सेल लगी रे,
पाप भी ना धोये जाएँ गंगा नहा के!
करन ही था उस युग का सबसे बड़ा दानी,
आकाश में धुंए का गुबार उठता है,
दूषित कर दिया मेरा पानी.
हवा पर भी टैक्स लगा,
मदारी का बंदर फिर भी ना जगा,
नीलाम हो गए दो गज़ ज़मीन के भी टुकड़े,
बजट से दूर भागता हर अभागा!
पहन लो तुम जितने भी मुकुट, टांग लो हीरे का गहना,
कण - कण में बिखेर दूंगा जब कुदाल चलाता आयूंगा,
मिट्टी से जो उत्पन हुआ उसी में है उसने बह जाना.
कलम से लिखने वालों की तरह है मेरी सोच,
अभी मुझे बहुत है उड़ना,
मेरी उड़ान को मत रोक!
पूरा पंडाल तालियों से गूंज उठा. और इधर पृथ्वी के घर में शिकन की हवाएं मंडरा रहीं थीं.
पृथ्वी - देख क्या रहे हो बे? जगह खाली करवायो, लीस पर थोड़ी ले रखी है उन्होने.
आदिल - मैं, कल नहीं आ सकूँगा. वो मुझे अपने भांजे को लेकर मोसक जाना है.
आज़ाद - सीधे - सीधे मस्जिद नहीं बोल सकता.
पृथ्वी - ठीक है. इसकी जगह मैं चलता हूँ. जीप तैयार रखना.
दोपहर की धूप जीप पर ताज बन कर सजी हुयी थी. जबकि, पृथ्वी, आज़ाद, अधिकांश, विनीत, और शुकला एक किला फ़तेह करने की तैयारी में थे.
मधु - देखिये, हमारा ग्रुप आज की औरत की आवाज़ है. घर पर आटे को गुंथती और परुषों के अत्याचार के नीचे पिस रही, इन औरतों के बारे में तो कोई नहीं सोचता. अब बात हक़ की और अधिकारों पर आ चुकी है. नारी से बंधी ज़ंजीर तोड़ने का वक़्त आ गया है.
पृथ्वी - ज़ंजीर तो रेड लाइट एरिया में बने हुए कोठों वालियों पर भी लगी हुयी है. उन्हें तो आप कभी नहीं खोलती. उनके अधिकारों की बात आते ही मुद्दा बदल जाता है, हक़ तहकाने में बंद कर दिए जाते हैं. उनके लिए लड़कर हाथ गंदे क्यूँ करें. अब उस जगह पर हमने किसानों और सोसाइटी के नीचे दबे हुए गरीबों की आवाज़ को उठाना है. आप कोई और जगह चुनिए. पैसे, हम दे देंगे.
माहोल मुर्दे की भांति शांत हो गया. एक पल के बाद उसी शांति को मधु की कर्कश आवाज़ ने तोड़ा.
मधु - देखिये, हम इस दिन का काफी देर से इंतज़ार कर रहे हैं. चुनाव सिर पर हैं, सड़कों पर काफी रैलियां होंगी, और यही मौका है हमे अपना सन्देश फ़ैलाने का. और, पैसों की आप फिकर मत करें. कोई तो हमे फंड कर ही देगा. आप लोग कोई और जगह क्यूँ नहीं चुन लेते? ऐसे काफी मैदान होंगे जहाँ से मंत्री और उनकी पार्टियाँ आपको देख सकें.
जीप से गाँव पलटे लोगों के चेहरे गुस्से में फुंकारते हुए थे. शायद सूरज भी इस गुस्से के कोप को सह नहीं सका और छिप गया.
पृथ्वी - इस धरने से लोगों को हमारे बारे में पता लगना था. हमारी जंग का हिसा बनते वो. अगर, उस कंपनी को फ़ैलाने के लिए पब्लिक ही नहीं मिलेगी तो क्या अनार्की को पेड़ से तोड़कर यहाँ बाटूँ. बुत बुने फिरते रहते हो तुम सब. १९९१ से ले कर २००६ तक सोमालिया भी सरकारी पंजों से आज़ाद था. और हर आज़ादी की कीमत लगती है. देख क्या रहे हो बे, पता लगायो कि नारी आंदोलन चल किसके पहिये पर रही है.
आज़ाद - कोई बिल्डर है. दुबई से आया है. अपने गाँव के साथ जुड़े हुए कस्बों को हटाना चाहता है. परमिट मिल चुका है उसे.
पृथ्वी की आँखों में खून उतर आया.
पृथ्वी - ये मेरी ज़मीन है, मेरे पुरखों का अंग है. यहाँ सोने की ईमारत बनाने से पहले फाड़ के गाद दूंगा उसको.......आदिल कहाँ है? बुला के ला उसे.
विनीत - शहर, उसके घर फ़ोन किया था, उसके भांजे ने उठाया था. बोल रहा था की, मामू मोस्को गया है. असल में उसका चाचा अपने शहर से चुनाव लड़ रहा है. उसी का प्रचार कर रहा है.
इस से पहले की कोई और कुछ बोल पाता, अँधेरे को चीरती हुयी एक रौशनी वहां आ पहुंची. रौशनी स्कूटर की थी.
पृथ्वी - मोस्को से कब आया तू?
आदिल - वो मैं...वो.
पृथ्वी - प्लेन ने बहरा कर दिया है. कहाँ था?
आदिल - वो मैं वोट डालने गया था.
पृथ्वी - किसको? अपने बाप को...और झूठ बोला ना तो यहीं टांग दूंगा.....आज़ाद, शर्ट उतार इसकी.
अधिकांश - इस पर हम...
आज़ाद - तू चुप रह.
पृथ्वी - आग लगा इसे.
आज़ाद की जेब से माचिस की तिल्ली निकल कर और जल कर आदिल की शर्ट से चिपक गयी.
पृथ्वी - स्कूटर जला दे.
आदिल बस अपने स्कूटर की जलती चिता को देखता रहा.
पृथ्वी - अगली बार तेरा अंतिम संस्कार भी कर देंगे.
पृथ्वी के जाने के बाद, स्कूटर में लगी आग की लपटें और फैलने लगीं.
आज़ाद - विनीत, शुकला पानी डालो स्कूटर पर. खड़ा - खड़ा ही फट ना जाए....... आदिल, देख समझने की कोशिश कर वो जो बोलता है उसे सुन लिया कर. नहीं तो तुझे काटेगा यहाँ, और टुकड़े हरयाने में मिलेंगे. और तेरे पिता तो कलकत्ते ही रहते हैं ना. दरी बेचते हैं ना वहां पे. तो उनका तो खर्चा और बढ़ेगा. एक समय ख़राब, और बेटे की लाश उठाने के लिए दरी ख़राब. अधिकांश, पानी पिला इसे.
दोपहर की गर्मी में बरगद के पेड़ के नीचे काफी शोर उत्पन हो रहा था.
शुकला - जाल बिछा चुका हूँ.
अधिकांश - दाहिने वाली काट.
विनीत - फँस गया जाल में.
आज़ाद - ले तीन ले गया.
अधिकांश - सल्फेट, जाल खुद के लिए बिछा रहा था!
पृथ्वी - शतरंज चल रही है.
आज़ाद - चेकर्स है पृथ्वी सा. शहर में नया आया है. लड़के सुबह ही ले के आये हैं.
पृथ्वी - कैसे खेलते हैं?
आज़ाद - १२ गीटियाँ दोनों खिलाड़ियों को मिलती हैं. शतरंज के जैसे सफ़ेद और काले खाने बने हुए हैं. सफ़ेद वाले को काली गोलियां खानी हैं और काले को सफ़ेद. १ ही बारी में ३ से लेकर ४ गीटियाँ जीत सकते हैं. बस चाल चलनी पड़ती है.
पृथ्वी के दिमाग में चाल बुनने लगी.
पृथ्वी - आज़ाद! जीप निकाल. विनीत, तू चल मेरे साथ.
जीप के तैयार होते ही पृथ्वी और विनीत उस में सवार हो गए.
पृथ्वी - आज़ाद, तू धरने की तयारी कर. हम आते हैं.
गाँव की कच्ची पगडण्डी से शहर की पक्की सड़कों पर सरपट दौड़ती जीप, विदेश से आये बिल्डर के घर के सामने रुक गयी.
पृथ्वी - जानता है ना यहाँ हम क्यूँ आये हैं. वक़्त आ गया है.
पृथ्वी ने विनीत के हाथ में बंदूक थमा दी. विनीत के कदम दरवाज़े के सामने रुके और उसके हाथ घंटी बजा कर.
'क्या चाहिए?'
विनीत - जी मैं जनराज कॉलेज से आया हूँ. हम लोग गरीबों के उद्वार के लिए धन राशी जमा कर रहे हैं. आप कुछ जोड़ना चाहेंगे.
'जीरो!'
इस से पहले दरवाज़ा बंद होता बंदूक की नाल की बिल्डर की नाक पर मजबूत प्रहार हुआ. और बिल्डर ठिठक गया.
विनीत - हमारी अनार्की बंद कराएगा हरामी...सोने का बाज़ार बनाएगा यहाँ तू.
लगातार हो रहे बंदूक की चोटों से बेहाल बिल्डर का शरीर फर्श पर गिर गया. विनीत रुक गया. बिल्डर रगड़ते हुए अपने विदेशी कालीन के ऊपर पहुँच गया.
विनीत - चल तेरे को शांति तो मिलेगी.
आवाज़ के धमाके हुए और बंदूक से तीन गोलियां निकाल कर बिल्डर के घमंडी शरीर में घुस गयीं. मखमली कालीन पर गुलाल पुत गया.
पृथ्वी - कितनी गोलियां चलायीं?
विनीत - ३!
पृथ्वी - ४ डाल आनी थीं. चल.
धरने का दिन आ गया. पृथ्वी अपने फ़ोन के आस - पास ही चहलकदमी करे जा रहा था. फ़ोन बजा.
आज़ाद - हाँ, भाई सा. यहाँ सब कुछ बढ़िया चल रहा है. वो महिला विभाग भी नहीं आया.
पृथ्वी - ध्यान रहे इस जंग का एलान और संदेश हर घर तक पहुँचाना चाहिए.
आज़ाद - आप फिकर मत कीजिये. संभाला हुआ है मैंने यहाँ सारा कुछ.
रात के अँधेरे को चीरती रोशनियाँ पृथ्वी के घर से आ रहीं थीं. घर नयी नवेली दुल्हन की तरह सजा हुआ था. ये जीत की चमक थी. ये अनार्की का जशन था.
सुबह हुयी पर ये सुबह मनहूसियत की किरण फैला रही थी.
आज़ाद - गज़ब हो गया पृथ्वी भाई सा. दरवाज़ा खोलिए.
शुकला - भाई सा!
पृथ्वी - क्यूँ चिल्ला रहा है?
आज़ाद - कंपनी पर इनकम टैक्स वालों का छापा पड़ गया. काफी काला धन बरामद हुआ. क्लर्कों की तो ज़मानत हो गयी. रिशिध का कुछ पता नहीं चल रहा. कंपनी बंद कर रहे हैं.
पृथ्वी का शरीर जड़ होकर ज़मीन पर आ गिरा. पृथ्वी की स्थति को नील के शब्द ऐसे बयान कर देते.
"ताकत और अहंकार को ना काट सकी दया ,
वो आखिरी बाण दुशासन के प्राण हर ले गया!"
आज़ाद - इन्हें, दिल का दौरा पड़ा है....अधिकांश, जीप निकाल..विनीत पानी ला.
गाँव के खेतों की कच्ची पगडण्डी के किनारे संजय और संजीव मिट्टी खोद रहे थे.
संजय - हमारे गाँव में इतने सारे पेड़ हैं. फिर हम एक और क्यूँ उगा रहे हैं?
संजीव - अभी पेड़ उगा कहाँ है! बीज डाले हैं.
संजय - ये पेड़ राहगीरों को छाया भी देगा.
संजीव - पेड़ तो उगने दे. ऐसे ही बीजों को यहाँ कतार में मिट्टी खोद - खोद डालते जायेंगे और गाँव में और हरियाली ला देंगे.
संजय - ये बीज गुस्सा तो नहीं होंगे.
संजीव - काफी सहा है इन्होने. थोड़ा सा और बर्दाश्त कर लेंगे.
संजय - ये बीज, पेड़ बन कर क्या देंगे?
संजीव - सब कुछ देंगे!
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Deadpooling For Twilight
'Um, Can you hear me? You there...Yes, I am talking to you...No, No...Don't close this page yet...Hey, don't even think about calling 9-1-1...Or, I will kidnap your dog and feed it to my cat...I have a big cat...Forget about that last line, my cat is allergic to dogs....Anyway...Wow!...You, must have a lot of free time...I forgot to introduce myself...Bond, James Bond!...Too cliche'd...How, about Bourne, Jason Bournde!...Or, simply Pool...Deadpool...Ha, Ha....Bonzai Mother...Hey, I never mind my language....Only, if Ryan Reynolds is playing me than I might have worked under a PG - 13 movie.....Whoa, look at how many words I wrote...Hey, Reader do you want to be mystified? Rattled? Dazzled? Satisfied? Well, if you are a female reader contact me...Only, ATTRACTIVE FEMALES...See, there is emphasis on the word 'ATTRACTIVE'...I prefer Redeheads...Ok, So I am going to tell you a story...The story is about our ANGRY YOUNG OGRE...............HULK......When, he met those...Can, you call them vampires? I don't think they are vampires...Whatever, they are! They are sparkly, they are white, and they are vegetarian!...Huh, Who wrote this script?...I bet a any guy named, 'Mohit Sharma' could write or even invent better poetic thoughts than this garbage. Oh, yes Hulk meets Twilight.'
Bella - No, It's too late!
Edward - I wanted to tell you this earlier, Bella....
Bella - OMG...This, guy likes other guys!
Edward - I can hear you. I am standing right here. Infact, I don't need you...Okay...I have fell in love with someone else...His name is....
Deadpool - Intense moment...See, this folks...I always knew he was not a vampire.
Bella - You are telling me you are H..Vomo...Fine, I am going with Taylor Swift...Er...Lautner.
Edward - His name is Jacob!
Bella - Obviously, you would know that. Should have known that you roll on the other side after you refused to bite me...Go, watch some Ricky Martin video you Vomo.
Edward - Why doesn't anybody let me come out of closet?
Deadpool - After, Bella leaves with Jacob, Edward puts on a Ricky Martin video while bringing a knife closer to his wrist...SHIT...This gay...Ahm!...guy is Emo too...And, all those times I read Twilight in Toilet...Augh...Let's see what Hulk is upto.
Bella - Good job boy. You are an amazing dog. Brownie points for that jump.
Jacob - I am not a dog, Bella. I am an werewolf.
Bella - Where Wuff? That's a terrible breed. I am going to call you Swiftner. A mix - up of Swift and Lautner.
Jacob - Sh! Hear something.
Bella - It's probably some animal using nature's resources. After all we are in Potty Fields!
Jacob - The voice is becoming louder...Hide me!
Bella - This is becoming a mystery. You are a guy, go check where the noise is coming from.
Jacob - I am not a guy...I mean, I am not going to go...You, go. You go girl.
Deadpool - UGA BOOGA BOOGAAAAA! Gotcha. Well, not really. You are just reading. I think the mystery sounds are not a mystery at all. I am going to go get aspirin. These, Twilight people have given me an headache. You, keep reading.
'SPARKLY PEOPLE, DISTURB HULK'S POO - POO TRAIN....HULK ANGRY.'
Jacob - It was her. She did it. I am just a dog.
Hulk - AAARR...Ahu - Ahu...SPARKLY PEOPLE EVEN TOOK HULK'S UNDERWEAR...HULK SMASH.
Bella - Give, him back his underwear.
Jacob - I don't have your underwear. Look, at your size. It won't fit me...Well, I could use it as a substitute for my broken trampoline...Ah, I can buy you a new one. Which, brand do you want? Gucci, Armani....Hmm...K - Mart?
Hulk - HULK BREAK WHITE BOYS AND GIRLS NECKS.
Jacob - I ain't white....I am original...Aboriginal...Native...Yaa, Maaan. Hoy you doin maaan. I am Babbu Maan..
Deadpool - Ha, Ha...The, guy is trying Jamaican accent!
Bella - Bacon, that's not native accent.
Jacob - Huh...Oh, I am Indian...Sorry, not white.
Hulk - INDIAN RESTAURENT GAVE HULK SPICY FOOD. MAKE, HULK CHILLY POO - POO TRAIN....HULK MORE MAD. HULK SMASH INDIAN BOY.
Jacob - Ahhh...He, broke my ribs.
Bella - He, didn't even touch you. Just, keep backing away. Animals, usually go away.
Hulk - HULK JUMPPPPPP!.
Deadpool - Ouch...Nice, Voilence Hulk. That scene was classic from all points...Yea, folks its a wrap - up...I think, I should use this underwear as a bed sheet...Yo, give me my paycheck for narration....By, the way I have set up a time bomb in your house..Ready to go in 3, 2, 1...Boom...Ha Ha!...That was just Gobar Gas...Kudos...Ciao!
X - Zone
Mohit akela bahar park mein ghum raha tha ki tabhi uske pairon mein ek parcha aa kar gir gaya...Mohit ne parcha uthaya..Wohi kisi X-Zone naam ke Group ki ad thi..Mohit usey padhne laga...
Ad-Aaj hi X-Zone join karein aur paayein apne jeevan ki har aadhori khushi. Aapko bas kuch role follow karne honge. Aaj hi join karein X-Zone.
Mohit-Wah yeh X-Zone toh bade kaam ki chiz lagti hai..Aaj hi inse milna padega.
Mohit apne ghar pahuncha aur ek-do minute mein taiyar ho kar..car mein baithkar nikal pada X-Zone ki taraf..15 minute mein woh X-Zone ke darwaze ke bahar khada tha..Mohit phataphat andar gaya...Aur dekha ki poora corridor khali pada tha..ki tabhi ek awaz aayi.
Karan-Good Evening Mohit..Anadar aa jaao ghabrao mat..Main hun Karan..X-Zone ka leader...Ab apne right wali side per jo tum ek kamra dekh rahe ho us mein chale jaao..phir seedhiyan chad kar upar wale corridor mein pahuncho..wahan se room no.10 mein chale jaao..Hum tumhara intezar kar raha hain.
Mohit-Isey kaisa pata chala...chalo dekhta hain..
Mohit kuch hi der mein Room no. 10 ke saamne pahunch gaya. Usne darwaza khola aur andar ek kursi par ja kar baith gaya.
Karan-Welcome Mohit..Welcome to X-Zone..Kuch bolne ki sochna bhi mat kyunki agar tumhare munh se ek labz bhi nikla toh tumhare munh mein zuban hi nahi rahegi..X-Zone ke kuch simple se rule hain..jo ki is parkar hain:
1.Yahan ki koi bhi cheez X-Zone ke bahar nahi ja sakti..aur agar gayi..toh milegi saza.
2.Agar tumne kisi ko bhi X-Zone ke baare mein batya toh kisi aur kko batane ke liye bachoge nahi.
3.Agar kabhi yeh iccha jatane ki koshish ki main kya kar raha hun..toh woh tumhari aakhiri iccha hogi.
Mujhe lagta hai ki maine sabhi rules tumhe acche se bata diye honge..Ab main chalta hun...tumhari aadhuri ichayein poori hoti rahingi..Par Rules kabhi mat bhulna..Mujhse agar kuch poochna ho toh yahan per aa jaana.
Mohit ne apni aankhein kholi aur paaya ki woh apne bed par tha..
Mohit-Toh kya woh sab ek sapna tha..nahi sapna nahi ho sakta.
Tabhi Mohit ka dost Rahul wahan par aaya.
Rahul-Mohit kahan hai..Tujhe Promotion mil gaya hai yaar..mujhe toh yaaken hi nahi aa raha..3 saal se tu wahan per lagatar kaam kar raha hai..par tujhe aaj promotion mila hai...Yeh chamatkar hua kaisa?
Mohit-Yeh sab X-Zone ka kaamal hai..kya group hai yaar..kal hi main unse mila aur aaj yeh promotion..Tu bhi milna..yeh le address note kar le.
Rahul-Ok ab main chalta hun.
Tabhi Rahul ke jaane baad Phone baja.
Mohit-Hello.
Karan-Rahul ko X-Zone ke baare mein batakar accha nahi kiya tumne.
Mohit-Par tumko kaise..
Karan-Saaza ke liye taiyar ho jaao aur apni maut ki ghadiyan ginna shuru kar do kyunki maut tum tak pahunche wali hai...HAHAHAHAHAHA
Mohit-Nahi..aisa mat karo..
Phone cut gaya..aur Mohit ka poora kamra jamne laga..dekhte hi dekhte kamra ka tapman 0 par aa gaaya..Kamre mein sab kuch jam chuka tha aur Mohit bhi..Phir ekaek kamre ka tapman badhne laga aur kamra ek garam bhatti ban gayi..tab tak ke liye Mohit ki barf pighal chuki thi..Aur woh garmi se bachne ke liye bahar bhaga par bahar ek aur maut uska intezar kar rahi thi...bahar uske darwaze ko ghere teen jangli kutte khade the..Teenon ne mohit ki taraf dekha..aur uski aur jahpte..par Mohit ne paas mein hi pada danda uthaya aur unhe door bhaga diya..
Mohit-Us kamine Karan ko nahi chodunga main..nahi chodunga..
Mohit ne apni Car start ki aur X-Zone ki taraf chal diya..kuch hi der mein woh X-Zone ke bahar tha..
Karan-Welcome Mohit..main dekh raha hun ki kutte bhi tumhara kuch nahi bigad paaye..Par ab tumhe milegi maut...
Kamre mein chaaron aur gas failne lagi aur dekhte hi dekhte Mohit behosh ho gaya..Mohit ki aankh khuli aur usne apne aapko zanzeeron se bandha paaya..
Mohit-Mujhe chod de kamine..chod mujhe..
Karan-Operation ke liye taiyar ho Mohit..
Mohit-Kaisa Operation..
Mohit ne dekhi Karan ke aankhon mein woh khoonkhar chamak..aur Karan ke badhte kadam Mohit ki taraf ..Mohit ki maut ka ailan kar rahe the..Karan ne chaku uthaya..au Mohit ke Operation ki taiyari karne laga..Mohit ki cheekhin poore hall mein gunjne lagin...
Kuch din baad.....
Rahul-Kya yahin X-Zone hai....
Karan-Welcome Rahul..haan yahin hai X-Zone..par iske kuch rule hain..unhe mat todna..warna pachtana padega..HAHAHAHAHAHAHA...
Ad-Aaj hi X-Zone join karein aur paayein apne jeevan ki har aadhori khushi. Aapko bas kuch role follow karne honge. Aaj hi join karein X-Zone.
Mohit-Wah yeh X-Zone toh bade kaam ki chiz lagti hai..Aaj hi inse milna padega.
Mohit apne ghar pahuncha aur ek-do minute mein taiyar ho kar..car mein baithkar nikal pada X-Zone ki taraf..15 minute mein woh X-Zone ke darwaze ke bahar khada tha..Mohit phataphat andar gaya...Aur dekha ki poora corridor khali pada tha..ki tabhi ek awaz aayi.
Karan-Good Evening Mohit..Anadar aa jaao ghabrao mat..Main hun Karan..X-Zone ka leader...Ab apne right wali side per jo tum ek kamra dekh rahe ho us mein chale jaao..phir seedhiyan chad kar upar wale corridor mein pahuncho..wahan se room no.10 mein chale jaao..Hum tumhara intezar kar raha hain.
Mohit-Isey kaisa pata chala...chalo dekhta hain..
Mohit kuch hi der mein Room no. 10 ke saamne pahunch gaya. Usne darwaza khola aur andar ek kursi par ja kar baith gaya.
Karan-Welcome Mohit..Welcome to X-Zone..Kuch bolne ki sochna bhi mat kyunki agar tumhare munh se ek labz bhi nikla toh tumhare munh mein zuban hi nahi rahegi..X-Zone ke kuch simple se rule hain..jo ki is parkar hain:
1.Yahan ki koi bhi cheez X-Zone ke bahar nahi ja sakti..aur agar gayi..toh milegi saza.
2.Agar tumne kisi ko bhi X-Zone ke baare mein batya toh kisi aur kko batane ke liye bachoge nahi.
3.Agar kabhi yeh iccha jatane ki koshish ki main kya kar raha hun..toh woh tumhari aakhiri iccha hogi.
Mujhe lagta hai ki maine sabhi rules tumhe acche se bata diye honge..Ab main chalta hun...tumhari aadhuri ichayein poori hoti rahingi..Par Rules kabhi mat bhulna..Mujhse agar kuch poochna ho toh yahan per aa jaana.
Mohit ne apni aankhein kholi aur paaya ki woh apne bed par tha..
Mohit-Toh kya woh sab ek sapna tha..nahi sapna nahi ho sakta.
Tabhi Mohit ka dost Rahul wahan par aaya.
Rahul-Mohit kahan hai..Tujhe Promotion mil gaya hai yaar..mujhe toh yaaken hi nahi aa raha..3 saal se tu wahan per lagatar kaam kar raha hai..par tujhe aaj promotion mila hai...Yeh chamatkar hua kaisa?
Mohit-Yeh sab X-Zone ka kaamal hai..kya group hai yaar..kal hi main unse mila aur aaj yeh promotion..Tu bhi milna..yeh le address note kar le.
Rahul-Ok ab main chalta hun.
Tabhi Rahul ke jaane baad Phone baja.
Mohit-Hello.
Karan-Rahul ko X-Zone ke baare mein batakar accha nahi kiya tumne.
Mohit-Par tumko kaise..
Karan-Saaza ke liye taiyar ho jaao aur apni maut ki ghadiyan ginna shuru kar do kyunki maut tum tak pahunche wali hai...HAHAHAHAHAHA
Mohit-Nahi..aisa mat karo..
Phone cut gaya..aur Mohit ka poora kamra jamne laga..dekhte hi dekhte kamra ka tapman 0 par aa gaaya..Kamre mein sab kuch jam chuka tha aur Mohit bhi..Phir ekaek kamre ka tapman badhne laga aur kamra ek garam bhatti ban gayi..tab tak ke liye Mohit ki barf pighal chuki thi..Aur woh garmi se bachne ke liye bahar bhaga par bahar ek aur maut uska intezar kar rahi thi...bahar uske darwaze ko ghere teen jangli kutte khade the..Teenon ne mohit ki taraf dekha..aur uski aur jahpte..par Mohit ne paas mein hi pada danda uthaya aur unhe door bhaga diya..
Mohit-Us kamine Karan ko nahi chodunga main..nahi chodunga..
Mohit ne apni Car start ki aur X-Zone ki taraf chal diya..kuch hi der mein woh X-Zone ke bahar tha..
Karan-Welcome Mohit..main dekh raha hun ki kutte bhi tumhara kuch nahi bigad paaye..Par ab tumhe milegi maut...
Kamre mein chaaron aur gas failne lagi aur dekhte hi dekhte Mohit behosh ho gaya..Mohit ki aankh khuli aur usne apne aapko zanzeeron se bandha paaya..
Mohit-Mujhe chod de kamine..chod mujhe..
Karan-Operation ke liye taiyar ho Mohit..
Mohit-Kaisa Operation..
Mohit ne dekhi Karan ke aankhon mein woh khoonkhar chamak..aur Karan ke badhte kadam Mohit ki taraf ..Mohit ki maut ka ailan kar rahe the..Karan ne chaku uthaya..au Mohit ke Operation ki taiyari karne laga..Mohit ki cheekhin poore hall mein gunjne lagin...
Kuch din baad.....
Rahul-Kya yahin X-Zone hai....
Karan-Welcome Rahul..haan yahin hai X-Zone..par iske kuch rule hain..unhe mat todna..warna pachtana padega..HAHAHAHAHAHAHA...
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Karanwa aur Rahuliya Ka Jalwa
Warning : Apne, Riskwa pe padhat...Humre Trendy Baba poon - poon kar ke phathat!
Jeth ke mahina ma, humre Babbu Laal Maanuandi ke mann ma bulbula uthat hai!...Seedhi, bhasha mein kahein toh Trendy Baba ne apne writing career ko ek naya platform aur ek naya Topic Idea dene ke liye, movie banane ki sochi. Ab, har state ki N.G.O.'s se nikale jaa chuke Baba ko finance kaun kare. Isiliye, humare Mohit Pandey Jee, shuru karne jaa rahe hain unka 'Bhojpuri Adventure'.
Trendy Baba - Lo, mere Prasadon, MurgaBang2008 Agarbatti ka dhuan prasad samajh ke satak jaayo.
Rahuliya - Agarbatti peeche karo. Main, yeh Movie, South mein apna career start karne ke liye kar raha hun. Zada, Aye - Waye kiye toh Bye - Bye kar dunga.
Karanwa - Baba, ek hi toh gora banda hai yahan. Usse, bhi dhuan laga ke kaala banoge.
Baba, pehle se hi Diabetes se lad rahe the. Isiliye, risk na lete huye unhone shooting shuru kar di.
Trendy Baba - Agarbatti....Doorbin....DISHUM - DISHUM!
Karanwa - Tu, itna pyar karat hamra se. E, hamra aaj pata chalat. Tohra komal haathon ke sparsh se gora patthar bhi kaala padat hai. Ab, der na kar zaalim, jaldi mantar maarat de.
Lo, idhar Baba ke Bhojpuri Dostana ka pehla din. Aur, pehle hi din mein Karan ne apni Bhojpuri Acting ko ek kuaan de diya.
Trendy Baba - Jaldi se Dialouge de Rahuliya.
Rahuliya - Mohra......
Trendy Baba - Paapi, tujhe dialouge nahi dena ek chote puppy ki pappi kar ke, Karanwa ko dena hai.
Rahuliya - Tohra ke manli hum aapan sajaniya....Tohre, se humra ma pyaar bhayal ho!
Trendy Baba - Hain! Dusht, gaana kyun shuru kar raha hai. Pehle, Karan ko puppy de.
Par, Rahuliya par toh jaise sakshat Ravi Kishen chadh chuke the. Usse, toh Karanwa mein apni Nagma dikhane lagi thi.
Rahuliya - Mohra, jab - jab naada dheele howe...Tujh, jaisi dulhaniya usse sil dayi ho.
Gaane ki do lines ho gayin thin aur baat Trendy Baba ki wig ke upar jaa chuki thi.
Trendy Baba - Kenchwa....Kenchwa....KENCHWA..
Rahuliya - Jab, hamri Whisky mein barf jaaye pighaliya...Tohre, John Abraham jaise nakhre dekhat ke din ki bahar bhayal ho.
Trendy Baba - Mera, battha baith jaayega..Koi, iss Bhojpuri Sonu Nigam ko band karo...Nineyanwan...Ahm!...98...Bunty98.
Bunty98 - Kya Baba? Seedhi - Seedhi bhasha mein, 'Cut' nahi bol sakte the.
Trendy Baba - Kitni, der se Kenchwa bol toh raha hun. Accha, suno.
Bunty98 - Oa!
Sound Manage kar rahe Bunty ne apni dhoti tight kar li. Trendy Baba ki Gobar Gas se lathpath chappal, Bunty ke haath mein aa chuki thi. Rahuliya, ke pyaar ke pravah se almost khatam ho chuki reel mein ek - do shots abhi baaki the. Aur, yahin Time tha ek perfect, End karne ka!
Rahuliya - Tohra, Jiya mein hume dikhat hai Nagma....Tak - Tak karat humri..........SUNGH!
Karanwa - Oh, Rahu......SUNGH!
Bunty ki Gobar Gas se sughandhit chappal ke sateek nishane ne, Rahuliya aur Karanwa ke Bhojpuri Duet par silayi maar di.
Bunty98 - Tera, jhute khaanda lak ni.....Lak - Tunnu - Tunnu - Lak - Tunnu - Tunnu!
Trendy Baba - Shabash! End waala Punjabi Monologue zabardast tha. Kal ko hi release hogi picture. Aur, har khidki toot jaayegi. Saare, Bhojpuri OSKAR tumhe hi milenge.
Abhi, Baba ka lecture shuru hi huya tha ki Camere ka sheesha toot gaya.
Bunty98 - Aaahhh!...Mera, munh...Matlab, meri naak jal gayi.
Trendy Baba - Sorry, woh thodi Gobar Gas baaki thi.
Trendy Baba, ki Movies ke liye aur Actors ki zarurat hai. Kripya, Contact karein.
Jeth ke mahina ma, humre Babbu Laal Maanuandi ke mann ma bulbula uthat hai!...Seedhi, bhasha mein kahein toh Trendy Baba ne apne writing career ko ek naya platform aur ek naya Topic Idea dene ke liye, movie banane ki sochi. Ab, har state ki N.G.O.'s se nikale jaa chuke Baba ko finance kaun kare. Isiliye, humare Mohit Pandey Jee, shuru karne jaa rahe hain unka 'Bhojpuri Adventure'.
Trendy Baba - Lo, mere Prasadon, MurgaBang2008 Agarbatti ka dhuan prasad samajh ke satak jaayo.
Rahuliya - Agarbatti peeche karo. Main, yeh Movie, South mein apna career start karne ke liye kar raha hun. Zada, Aye - Waye kiye toh Bye - Bye kar dunga.
Karanwa - Baba, ek hi toh gora banda hai yahan. Usse, bhi dhuan laga ke kaala banoge.
Baba, pehle se hi Diabetes se lad rahe the. Isiliye, risk na lete huye unhone shooting shuru kar di.
Trendy Baba - Agarbatti....Doorbin....DISHUM - DISHUM!
Karanwa - Tu, itna pyar karat hamra se. E, hamra aaj pata chalat. Tohra komal haathon ke sparsh se gora patthar bhi kaala padat hai. Ab, der na kar zaalim, jaldi mantar maarat de.
Lo, idhar Baba ke Bhojpuri Dostana ka pehla din. Aur, pehle hi din mein Karan ne apni Bhojpuri Acting ko ek kuaan de diya.
Trendy Baba - Jaldi se Dialouge de Rahuliya.
Rahuliya - Mohra......
Trendy Baba - Paapi, tujhe dialouge nahi dena ek chote puppy ki pappi kar ke, Karanwa ko dena hai.
Rahuliya - Tohra ke manli hum aapan sajaniya....Tohre, se humra ma pyaar bhayal ho!
Trendy Baba - Hain! Dusht, gaana kyun shuru kar raha hai. Pehle, Karan ko puppy de.
Par, Rahuliya par toh jaise sakshat Ravi Kishen chadh chuke the. Usse, toh Karanwa mein apni Nagma dikhane lagi thi.
Rahuliya - Mohra, jab - jab naada dheele howe...Tujh, jaisi dulhaniya usse sil dayi ho.
Gaane ki do lines ho gayin thin aur baat Trendy Baba ki wig ke upar jaa chuki thi.
Trendy Baba - Kenchwa....Kenchwa....KENCHWA..
Rahuliya - Jab, hamri Whisky mein barf jaaye pighaliya...Tohre, John Abraham jaise nakhre dekhat ke din ki bahar bhayal ho.
Trendy Baba - Mera, battha baith jaayega..Koi, iss Bhojpuri Sonu Nigam ko band karo...Nineyanwan...Ahm!...98...Bunty98.
Bunty98 - Kya Baba? Seedhi - Seedhi bhasha mein, 'Cut' nahi bol sakte the.
Trendy Baba - Kitni, der se Kenchwa bol toh raha hun. Accha, suno.
Bunty98 - Oa!
Sound Manage kar rahe Bunty ne apni dhoti tight kar li. Trendy Baba ki Gobar Gas se lathpath chappal, Bunty ke haath mein aa chuki thi. Rahuliya, ke pyaar ke pravah se almost khatam ho chuki reel mein ek - do shots abhi baaki the. Aur, yahin Time tha ek perfect, End karne ka!
Rahuliya - Tohra, Jiya mein hume dikhat hai Nagma....Tak - Tak karat humri..........SUNGH!
Karanwa - Oh, Rahu......SUNGH!
Bunty ki Gobar Gas se sughandhit chappal ke sateek nishane ne, Rahuliya aur Karanwa ke Bhojpuri Duet par silayi maar di.
Bunty98 - Tera, jhute khaanda lak ni.....Lak - Tunnu - Tunnu - Lak - Tunnu - Tunnu!
Trendy Baba - Shabash! End waala Punjabi Monologue zabardast tha. Kal ko hi release hogi picture. Aur, har khidki toot jaayegi. Saare, Bhojpuri OSKAR tumhe hi milenge.
Abhi, Baba ka lecture shuru hi huya tha ki Camere ka sheesha toot gaya.
Bunty98 - Aaahhh!...Mera, munh...Matlab, meri naak jal gayi.
Trendy Baba - Sorry, woh thodi Gobar Gas baaki thi.
Trendy Baba, ki Movies ke liye aur Actors ki zarurat hai. Kripya, Contact karein.
Politician
"Aise hone chahiye, humare desh ke Politician."
Us, kacchi sadak par bichi woh keelien, us Safed Mercedes ka intezar karte lag rahin thin. Mercedes ki backseat par baithe us shakhs ka dhyaan kahin aur hi tha. Gaadi ke Driver ko bhi dhyaan na raha ki kab, gaadi keelon ke upar se guzar gayi....Aur, gaadi ki hawa tayron se.
Driver - Sahib, lagta hai Tyre Puncture ho gaya hai!
Mercedes se neeche utre us shakhs ki aankhon mein nafrat thi. Apni, chappal par lage keechad ko dekh kar, chehre par ghinn thi. Ghamand se bhari awaz mein usne apne, Driver ko apne paas bulaya.
'E, mere jute saaf kar!'
Driver - Jee, aaya Sahib.
Yeh, sab manzar do aur aankhein dekh rahin thin. Yeh aankhein, Mercedes ki side par hi bane ek, Auto Repair Shop mein khade 12 - 13 saal ke yuvak ki thin. Shayad, yeh Auto Repair Shop issi yuvak ki thi. Bahut der se dekh rahe yuvak ke sabr ka bandh toot gaya aur woh dauda huya Mercedes ke saamne pahuncha.
Hiten - Saab, maine dekha aapki gaadi kharab hote huye..Yeh, choti si Auto Repair Shop meri hi hai. Mujhe, 15 minute dijiye, aapki gaadi ka tyre change kar dunga.
Us, aadmi ne munh se kuch nahi bola. Bas, uski gardan ne ishara kar diya. Shayad, woh aadmi kisi soch mein doob gaya tha.
Mumbai ki mayanagri, Bollywood. Successful actor, Prashant Sinha ki nayi Picture ka Premiere........Anekon sitaron se saji mehfil mein, sab nazrein, Prashant Sinha par thin. Press waalon ki saawal ki list, Carpet se bhi lambi thi. Prashant Sinha, Reporters ke saawalon ke jawab de hi rahe the ki, ek Jeep aa ker ruki. 15 - 20 ladke neeche utre.
'Aap log andar nahi jaa sakte.'
Security Guard itna hi keh paya kyunki uske baad, uski jubaan zameen chatne mein lag gayi.....Ladkon mein se ek bhaari awaz aayi.
'Bottle, phod saale ke!'
Prashant Sinha ke sir par zor se ek bottle padi..Prashant kuch kar paata us se pehle hi ladkon dwara laayi gayi hockey sticks ki chot se uski taang ki haddi jawab de chuki thi. Prashant Sinha par, Hockey Sticks dwara kiye gaye ghaav badhne lage...Kisi ne kuch kehne ki koshish nahi ki. Sab, log murti ban tamasha dekhte rahe.
10 minute baad, Hockey ki maar band huyi. Ek, ladke ne apna Mobile, Prashant Sinha ke kaan ke pas lagaya. Ek, awaz aayi.
'Tujhe yahan tikne nahi dunga.......Abhi toh Haddi todi hai, agli baar mere upar Picture banane ki koshish ki toh, teri chamdi Acid se jala kar tere Camere par latka dunga......Jai Maharashtra!'
Ladkon ki toli, 'Jai Maharashtra' ke naare lagate huye, Jeep mein sawar hokar andhere mein ghum ho gayi. Zakhmon se karah rahe, Prashant Sinha ke upar koi dhyaan nahi de raha tha.
Agle din wohi Jeep ek Theatre ke bahar aa kar ruki, jahan par shayad kisi Bhojpuri Picture ka Show chal raha tha.
'Band karo yeh ashleel tamasha........Phaad Do Seatein....Laga do aag iss Bhojpuri Lanka mein!'
Picture dekh rahe log, darwazon ki taraf bhagne lage. Kaiyon ne Balcony se chalaang laga di...Theatre ka mallik dauda huya aaya.
'Yeh, aap log kya.....................
Uski, baat band hoti us se pehle hi ek ladke ne uske munh par Sticker laga diya.
'Mera naam, Narayan hai.....Aur, kaan se yeh bali nikal kar sun le, aaj ke baad yahan koi Picture nahi chalegi....Chali toh, tere saare patthe, teri laash ka Show dekh rahe honge.....Kamal, Shirt phaad iski.'
Cinema Owner ki shirt ke kai chithde ho gaye. Ladkon ne woh Shirt sulga di.
Narayan - Bana do yahan shamshan.
Jalti Shirt ke tukde, Seaton ki taraf phenk diye gaye...Kuch, ladkon ne Cinema ke Parde ko aag laga di. Cinema ke mallik ke kuch kar paane se pehle hi ek Hockey ki parhar se uske hosh ud gaye......Cinema Hall ko jalti chita bana kar ladkon ki toli nikal chuki thi.
Narayan - ......Haan, Saab....Jee, tod dete hain....Mitti mein mila denge....Aap, phikar na karein......Shankar, Jeep, Theke ki taraf mod.
Sharab ke addon par bhaari bheed lagi huyi thi. Jeep aa chuki thi..Lekin iss baar ladkon ke haath mein Hockey nahi thi....Talwaron ki chamak thi...Is se pehle hi koi kuch samajh paata, ladkon ki toli ne logon ki chamdi utarni shuru kar di.
Narayan - Bolo......Jai Maharashtra!
Shaarab ki botlein choodiyon saman zameen par gir - gir tootne lagin...Bheed kum ho chuki thi...Narayan ka rukh, sharaab bech rahe aadmi ki taraf tha.
Narayan - Tune hi likha hai kya, 'We Sell English Wine'?
'Jee!'
Uski, awaz aane ki hi der thi ki, Acid ki bauchar uske munh par pad chuki thi...Ashanaey dard le kar woh aadmi daudta huya, behosh ho gaya.
Narayan - Yahan ka har baccha - baccha, Desi Daaru peeta hai....Tujhe, badi angrezi chadi hai...Ab, bol Jai Maharashtra!
Kamal - Narayan, woh dekh shayad woh ladka issi ka beta hai.
Narayan ne bacche ko utha, Counter par bitha diya.
Narayan - Kaala Rang laayo.
Kuch ladke, phataphat Paint ka ek kanastar utha laaye. Narayan ne apna haath Rang mein dubo kar, bacche ke munh par mal diya.
Narayan - Ab, isse kabhi buri nazar nahi lagegi....Chocolate khaa!
Narayan ne ek Sticker uske munh par bhi chipka diya.
Jeep, wahan se nikal gayi. Bheed ka jama hona shuru ho gaya tha....Jeep, ek Taxi ke paas jaa kar ruki...Taxi khaali padi thi. Shayad, Taxi walah kahin gaya huya tha.
Narayan - Machis De!
Machis sulga kar, Petrol ki tanki mein daal di....Taxi, ekdum dhamake se phat gayi.
Narayan - Mumbai ki taraf rukh bhi kiya toh jaan kheench lenge....Jai Maharashtra!
Agle, din ke akhbaron ki khabarein badi surkh thin!
'An Actor Got Brutally Beaten Up.'
'A Cinema House And Its Owner Were Burned By A Group Of Teenagers!'
'Taxi Union Ke Ek Member Ki Taxi Ko Bomb Ka Gola Bana Diya Gaya. Hamalawar Farar!'
'A Man And His 5 Year Old Son, Beaten By Young Adult Attackers At Liquor Stores.'
'Was The Mumbai Police Sleeping?'
'Saab!'
Us, aadmi ka dhyaan khayalon se bahar aaya.
'Hun......Haan..!'
Hiten - Aapki, gadi ka tyre badal diya hai.
Gardan hila kar woh aadmi apni, Mercedes ki Back Seat par sawar ho gaya....Jaise, hi Mercedes chalne lagi, piche se Hiten ka haath gaadi ke sheeshe par aa kar laga...
Hiten - Saab.....Mera mehanatana toh dete jaayo.
Mercedes ruki aur Reverse hokar ussi jagah par aa ruki jis par woh khadi thi....Aadmi aur uska Driver dono bahar nikle.
'Kya Bola? Jaanta hai tu kis se paise maang raha hai?............Dev Jaykar naam hai mera......Saale, tera hone waala Leader hun.'
Dev Jaykar ki thokar se Hiten door ja gira.
Dev - Yeh, itna bada - bada Angrezi mein kya likha hai.....Apni dukaan ka naam, Shudh Hindi mein nahi likh sakta tha?....Tujhe toh iss desh mein rehne ka koi adhikar nahi hai....Rehta kidhar hai tu.
Chot ke prabhav se, Hiten ki aankhein nam hone lagin thin..Phir, bhi woh himmat kar bola!
Hiten - Woh, Hanuman Mandir ke paas waali basti mein...Yahan se thodi hi door hai.
Driver - Sahib, wahan toh Bihari rehte hain!
Dev ki aankhon mein khoon utar gaya.
Dev - Tu.........Tu mere jute saaf karega.....Dukaan chalayega yahan apni......Teri poori basti ko aag laga dunga main......Tujh se pehle teri hi jaise, Vidyarthiyon ki haddiyan tod chuka hun....Bol, Jai Maharashtra...Saanp das gaya hai kya?......Bol......Driver, iski dukaan tod do.
Hiten - Saab....Mujhe maaf kar do.....Saab...Aisa mat karo...Mere, Bhai ko Polio hai.... Uska jimma mere sir hi hai....Koi roko...Koi...
Hiten ki nazar, paas mein hi ek, Rehdi par, Pav - Bhaaji khaa rahe do Hawaldaron par gayi. Woh, dauda huya unke paas gaya.
Hiten - Daroga Saab, meri dukaan bacha lo.
Patil - Tune, kuch suna Pandya?
Pandya - Nahi toh....Kaan mein mail bahut jam gayi hai!
Patil - Beta, woh dukaan nahi hai...Sirf, ek gatte ka ghar hai...Toot jaayega toh behtar hai..Tera kya jaata hai?...Le, tu bhi khaa!
Hiten dauda huya apni dukaan par jaa pahuncha joki ab kabad ke roop mein wahan bikhar chuki thi.
Dev - Teri dukaan mein apna chunav chinh laga diya hai....Mat dena mat bhooliyo....Nahi toh agli baar tere Polio waale bhai ki laash yahan taang denge.....JAI MAHARASHTRA!
Mercedes jaa chuki thi......Peeche chut gayi thi cheekhein...Ansu...Nirasha....aur Dard.
Us, kacchi sadak par bichi woh keelien, us Safed Mercedes ka intezar karte lag rahin thin. Mercedes ki backseat par baithe us shakhs ka dhyaan kahin aur hi tha. Gaadi ke Driver ko bhi dhyaan na raha ki kab, gaadi keelon ke upar se guzar gayi....Aur, gaadi ki hawa tayron se.
Driver - Sahib, lagta hai Tyre Puncture ho gaya hai!
Mercedes se neeche utre us shakhs ki aankhon mein nafrat thi. Apni, chappal par lage keechad ko dekh kar, chehre par ghinn thi. Ghamand se bhari awaz mein usne apne, Driver ko apne paas bulaya.
'E, mere jute saaf kar!'
Driver - Jee, aaya Sahib.
Yeh, sab manzar do aur aankhein dekh rahin thin. Yeh aankhein, Mercedes ki side par hi bane ek, Auto Repair Shop mein khade 12 - 13 saal ke yuvak ki thin. Shayad, yeh Auto Repair Shop issi yuvak ki thi. Bahut der se dekh rahe yuvak ke sabr ka bandh toot gaya aur woh dauda huya Mercedes ke saamne pahuncha.
Hiten - Saab, maine dekha aapki gaadi kharab hote huye..Yeh, choti si Auto Repair Shop meri hi hai. Mujhe, 15 minute dijiye, aapki gaadi ka tyre change kar dunga.
Us, aadmi ne munh se kuch nahi bola. Bas, uski gardan ne ishara kar diya. Shayad, woh aadmi kisi soch mein doob gaya tha.
Mumbai ki mayanagri, Bollywood. Successful actor, Prashant Sinha ki nayi Picture ka Premiere........Anekon sitaron se saji mehfil mein, sab nazrein, Prashant Sinha par thin. Press waalon ki saawal ki list, Carpet se bhi lambi thi. Prashant Sinha, Reporters ke saawalon ke jawab de hi rahe the ki, ek Jeep aa ker ruki. 15 - 20 ladke neeche utre.
'Aap log andar nahi jaa sakte.'
Security Guard itna hi keh paya kyunki uske baad, uski jubaan zameen chatne mein lag gayi.....Ladkon mein se ek bhaari awaz aayi.
'Bottle, phod saale ke!'
Prashant Sinha ke sir par zor se ek bottle padi..Prashant kuch kar paata us se pehle hi ladkon dwara laayi gayi hockey sticks ki chot se uski taang ki haddi jawab de chuki thi. Prashant Sinha par, Hockey Sticks dwara kiye gaye ghaav badhne lage...Kisi ne kuch kehne ki koshish nahi ki. Sab, log murti ban tamasha dekhte rahe.
10 minute baad, Hockey ki maar band huyi. Ek, ladke ne apna Mobile, Prashant Sinha ke kaan ke pas lagaya. Ek, awaz aayi.
'Tujhe yahan tikne nahi dunga.......Abhi toh Haddi todi hai, agli baar mere upar Picture banane ki koshish ki toh, teri chamdi Acid se jala kar tere Camere par latka dunga......Jai Maharashtra!'
Ladkon ki toli, 'Jai Maharashtra' ke naare lagate huye, Jeep mein sawar hokar andhere mein ghum ho gayi. Zakhmon se karah rahe, Prashant Sinha ke upar koi dhyaan nahi de raha tha.
Agle din wohi Jeep ek Theatre ke bahar aa kar ruki, jahan par shayad kisi Bhojpuri Picture ka Show chal raha tha.
'Band karo yeh ashleel tamasha........Phaad Do Seatein....Laga do aag iss Bhojpuri Lanka mein!'
Picture dekh rahe log, darwazon ki taraf bhagne lage. Kaiyon ne Balcony se chalaang laga di...Theatre ka mallik dauda huya aaya.
'Yeh, aap log kya.....................
Uski, baat band hoti us se pehle hi ek ladke ne uske munh par Sticker laga diya.
'Mera naam, Narayan hai.....Aur, kaan se yeh bali nikal kar sun le, aaj ke baad yahan koi Picture nahi chalegi....Chali toh, tere saare patthe, teri laash ka Show dekh rahe honge.....Kamal, Shirt phaad iski.'
Cinema Owner ki shirt ke kai chithde ho gaye. Ladkon ne woh Shirt sulga di.
Narayan - Bana do yahan shamshan.
Jalti Shirt ke tukde, Seaton ki taraf phenk diye gaye...Kuch, ladkon ne Cinema ke Parde ko aag laga di. Cinema ke mallik ke kuch kar paane se pehle hi ek Hockey ki parhar se uske hosh ud gaye......Cinema Hall ko jalti chita bana kar ladkon ki toli nikal chuki thi.
Narayan - ......Haan, Saab....Jee, tod dete hain....Mitti mein mila denge....Aap, phikar na karein......Shankar, Jeep, Theke ki taraf mod.
Sharab ke addon par bhaari bheed lagi huyi thi. Jeep aa chuki thi..Lekin iss baar ladkon ke haath mein Hockey nahi thi....Talwaron ki chamak thi...Is se pehle hi koi kuch samajh paata, ladkon ki toli ne logon ki chamdi utarni shuru kar di.
Narayan - Bolo......Jai Maharashtra!
Shaarab ki botlein choodiyon saman zameen par gir - gir tootne lagin...Bheed kum ho chuki thi...Narayan ka rukh, sharaab bech rahe aadmi ki taraf tha.
Narayan - Tune hi likha hai kya, 'We Sell English Wine'?
'Jee!'
Uski, awaz aane ki hi der thi ki, Acid ki bauchar uske munh par pad chuki thi...Ashanaey dard le kar woh aadmi daudta huya, behosh ho gaya.
Narayan - Yahan ka har baccha - baccha, Desi Daaru peeta hai....Tujhe, badi angrezi chadi hai...Ab, bol Jai Maharashtra!
Kamal - Narayan, woh dekh shayad woh ladka issi ka beta hai.
Narayan ne bacche ko utha, Counter par bitha diya.
Narayan - Kaala Rang laayo.
Kuch ladke, phataphat Paint ka ek kanastar utha laaye. Narayan ne apna haath Rang mein dubo kar, bacche ke munh par mal diya.
Narayan - Ab, isse kabhi buri nazar nahi lagegi....Chocolate khaa!
Narayan ne ek Sticker uske munh par bhi chipka diya.
Jeep, wahan se nikal gayi. Bheed ka jama hona shuru ho gaya tha....Jeep, ek Taxi ke paas jaa kar ruki...Taxi khaali padi thi. Shayad, Taxi walah kahin gaya huya tha.
Narayan - Machis De!
Machis sulga kar, Petrol ki tanki mein daal di....Taxi, ekdum dhamake se phat gayi.
Narayan - Mumbai ki taraf rukh bhi kiya toh jaan kheench lenge....Jai Maharashtra!
Agle, din ke akhbaron ki khabarein badi surkh thin!
'An Actor Got Brutally Beaten Up.'
'A Cinema House And Its Owner Were Burned By A Group Of Teenagers!'
'Taxi Union Ke Ek Member Ki Taxi Ko Bomb Ka Gola Bana Diya Gaya. Hamalawar Farar!'
'A Man And His 5 Year Old Son, Beaten By Young Adult Attackers At Liquor Stores.'
'Was The Mumbai Police Sleeping?'
'Saab!'
Us, aadmi ka dhyaan khayalon se bahar aaya.
'Hun......Haan..!'
Hiten - Aapki, gadi ka tyre badal diya hai.
Gardan hila kar woh aadmi apni, Mercedes ki Back Seat par sawar ho gaya....Jaise, hi Mercedes chalne lagi, piche se Hiten ka haath gaadi ke sheeshe par aa kar laga...
Hiten - Saab.....Mera mehanatana toh dete jaayo.
Mercedes ruki aur Reverse hokar ussi jagah par aa ruki jis par woh khadi thi....Aadmi aur uska Driver dono bahar nikle.
'Kya Bola? Jaanta hai tu kis se paise maang raha hai?............Dev Jaykar naam hai mera......Saale, tera hone waala Leader hun.'
Dev Jaykar ki thokar se Hiten door ja gira.
Dev - Yeh, itna bada - bada Angrezi mein kya likha hai.....Apni dukaan ka naam, Shudh Hindi mein nahi likh sakta tha?....Tujhe toh iss desh mein rehne ka koi adhikar nahi hai....Rehta kidhar hai tu.
Chot ke prabhav se, Hiten ki aankhein nam hone lagin thin..Phir, bhi woh himmat kar bola!
Hiten - Woh, Hanuman Mandir ke paas waali basti mein...Yahan se thodi hi door hai.
Driver - Sahib, wahan toh Bihari rehte hain!
Dev ki aankhon mein khoon utar gaya.
Dev - Tu.........Tu mere jute saaf karega.....Dukaan chalayega yahan apni......Teri poori basti ko aag laga dunga main......Tujh se pehle teri hi jaise, Vidyarthiyon ki haddiyan tod chuka hun....Bol, Jai Maharashtra...Saanp das gaya hai kya?......Bol......Driver, iski dukaan tod do.
Hiten - Saab....Mujhe maaf kar do.....Saab...Aisa mat karo...Mere, Bhai ko Polio hai.... Uska jimma mere sir hi hai....Koi roko...Koi...
Hiten ki nazar, paas mein hi ek, Rehdi par, Pav - Bhaaji khaa rahe do Hawaldaron par gayi. Woh, dauda huya unke paas gaya.
Hiten - Daroga Saab, meri dukaan bacha lo.
Patil - Tune, kuch suna Pandya?
Pandya - Nahi toh....Kaan mein mail bahut jam gayi hai!
Patil - Beta, woh dukaan nahi hai...Sirf, ek gatte ka ghar hai...Toot jaayega toh behtar hai..Tera kya jaata hai?...Le, tu bhi khaa!
Hiten dauda huya apni dukaan par jaa pahuncha joki ab kabad ke roop mein wahan bikhar chuki thi.
Dev - Teri dukaan mein apna chunav chinh laga diya hai....Mat dena mat bhooliyo....Nahi toh agli baar tere Polio waale bhai ki laash yahan taang denge.....JAI MAHARASHTRA!
Mercedes jaa chuki thi......Peeche chut gayi thi cheekhein...Ansu...Nirasha....aur Dard.
Ek Chote Actor Ki Maut
Sundarlal Sharma Auditorium aaj darshakon se bhara huya tha.
'Goodmorning Sir. Me and my friends are from Blossoms Middle School. We are selling, Chocolates to raise donations for, 'Starve Hunger' Camp at our school. Would you like to buy one?'
Joy - No!
Darwaza bacchon ke munh par band ho gaya.
Shammi - Saala, jo Angrezi ka ratta chadya tha...Kisi kaam ka nahi..Sukhi, agli baar tu hi boliyo.
Sukhi - Munh par darwaza maara hai. Jee, toh karta hai iski chamdi utar kar, iski haddiyon ka Exhibition, Biology Class mein karun........Aye, woh dekh yeh kutta iske Garden mein bandha huya hai....Naresh, patthar le kar aa.
Ek dardnak cheekh gunzi. Joy ka garden, laal ho gaya. Joy, bhaaga huya aaya. Bacche jaa chuke the. Apne, kutte ki laash ko baahon le kar rone laga.
Joy - Kabhi - Kabhi, sabse kamzor....Sabse gehra ghaw de jaate hain.
Poora Auditorium taaliyon se gunz utha. Phoolon ki kalmein, hawa mein tairti huyi, Joy ka Role kar rahe Ashok ke pairon mein girne lagin. Parda band ho gaya.
Vishwa - Mr. Mittal, he is an fantastic actor.
Mittal - I know, Mr. Vishwa....I know.
Backstage, mauhal abhi shaant tha. Bawanda ke aane se pehle ki shaanti hawa mein thi.
Abhimanyu - Chaa, gaya kaminey......Chaa gaya...Kya, Performance di!
Parde ke peeche chal rahi iss tareef ke saath ab bahut kuch hone waale tha. Armani ke suit ki chamak ne Ashok, Abhimanyu,Uday ko chaunka sa diya.
Mittal - Well Done Mr. Ashok. What an exceptional play! I am Narayan Mittal and this is J.K. Vishwa. We are from M&V Industries......Let me not waste mine and your time....I want to buy this auditorium.
Ashok ko kaato toh khoon nahi.
Ashok - Jee, Yeh mere Pitaji ki yaad mein.......
Vishwa - Ghar aayi Lakshmi ko nahi thukarate...Yeh joote jaante hain kitne ke hain? Pachas Hazar, Made In China....Real Snake Skin..Saanp ki chamdi utar kar banaye hain. Bas, tumhe yeh Auditorium bechna hai, phir dekho saanp jaisi hari chamdi waale noton mein soyoge.
Mittal - We will....Infact I will make you an actor in Bollywood. Think about all the fame, money, power, stardom. People dream of it, You will experience it. Just sign this Contract. You are just one signature away from Heaven.
Ashok maano putle ke saaman wahan khada huya tha. Munh se kuch bol nahi nikal rahe the. Par, uske doston ko jubaan ko abhi tala nahi laga tha.
Abhimanyu - Iss, Auditorium ke saath toh Jhuggi waale rehte hain.
Vishwa - Tod denge.
Ashok ki aankhon mein khoon utar aaya. Uske kaampte haathon ne Contract uthaya aur do bhaagon mein vibhajit kar diya.
Ashok - Auditorium....Baba ki aakhiri nishani thi.
Mittal ke kadam darwaze ki taraf chal pade.
Vishwa - Apni, Photo par haar taangne ki taiyari kar le.
Uday - Woh, nahi maanega.
Abhimanyu - Bulldozer pakka aayega.
Ashok - Humme, Morcha uthana hoga.
Jhuggi - Basti waalon ke saath mil kar, Ashok aur uske doston ke kadam, M&V Industries ki taraf badh gaye.
Dopahar ka sooraj, aasman mein chamakane laga tha. Dharna abhi bhi chal raha tha. Par, Mittal ki aankhein aur nahi dekh saktin thin.
Mittal - Hello, Police Station......
Vishwa ke kadam Industry ke Gate paar kar ke, Ashok ke saamne aa ruke.
Vishwa - Tera baap toh mar gaya...Saale, ab hume bhookhe maarega kya?
Vishwa ka haath ghuma aur Ashok ka munh surkh laal ho gaya.
Ashok - Main, paise ikktha kar ke tumhe de dunga.
Vishwa - Tere paas do Kidney hain.......Ek Bech de.
Ashok - Yeh, mere hak ki ladai hai. Par, main kutta nahi hun joh doosre kutton se apni roti ke liye cheena - jhappati kare. Hum, yahan tab tak baithe rehenge jab tak hume humara hak nahi mil jaata.
Vishwa - Toh, apne aap ko goli maar le beta. Kyunki, tera hak kab ka Minister dwara sign kar diya gaya hai...Tujhe, kya laga?...Sarkari zameen par, Illegal tareeke se Auditorium bana lega..Do din hain..
Ashok ki aankhon mein paani bhar aaya. Is se pehle uske dost usse, sambhalte Siren ki awaz se mauhal garam ho gaya. Police ke sipahi laathi charge karne lage. Logon, mein afra - tafri mach gayi.
Uday - Ashok, uth.
Ashok abhi bhi wahin baitha raha. Abhimanyu aur Uday kisi tarah usse utha kar laane mein kamyab huye.
Uday - Paisa...Corruption..Corrupt log apne Desh ke saath - saath khud ko toh bech hi chuke hain. Ab, toh Sarkar ko Casinos mein logon ko ek dusre ka cheer haran bhi karne dena chahiye. Apne, bacchon ko maar kar un par se School ka bojh khatam karna chahiye..
Abhimanyu - Shaant Reh... Dekh, Ashok tu apni Performance par dhyaan de. Yeh shayad tera aakhiri Show hai. Yeh, Show hum khaas Charity ke liye kar rahe hain. Apni, nahi toh un Jhuggi waalon ki toh kuch madad kar paayein.
Ashok - Yeh le...Auditorium ka kagaaz. Shayad, yeh mere se zada tere haath mein rehne ka hakdar hai. Darwaza toh band ho hi chuka hai. Ab, koi chabbi nahi chalegi.
Abhimanyu kuch bola nahi. Bas, usne apne dost ko gale se laga liya. Parda uth gaya. Aur, Ashok, Nirav mein badal gaya.
'Nirav Shah...Zindabad'
Nirav - Yeh desh kahan tha. Ab kahan ho gaya hai. Aaj ka Youth badal gaya hai. Aaj, Change ki zarurat hai. Main koi krantikari nahi hun. Par, apne jaise College ke liye meri hi zarurat hai. Main, vaada karta hun sabko sabka sampooran adhikaar milega. Ragging ki jad hi ukhad di jaayegi. Eve Teasing ko band kiya jaayega. Inn sab mein mujhe aap sab ki zarurat hai. Aur, aapko meri. Vote, mujhe hi dein.
Youth ki bheed mein naare aur zor lene lage.
Peter ke pair daudte huye, Nirav tak pahunche. Aur, Nirav ke kadam wahan se seedha, Hostel ke 400 kamre mein pahunch gaya. Kamra, Ransa ka tha.
Ransa - Aayie, Neta Sahab! Kya lenge? Whisky, ya Desi hi peeyenge.
Nirav - Kaam ki baat bhaunk.
Ransa - Toh, Neta Ji aaj ki taza khabar yeh hai ki aap Election se withdraw kar rahe hain. Youth ko garam khoon chahiye.
Nirav - Khoon hai? Toh bahao. Par, tum kyun bahaoge? Baap, M.P. hai. Paise de kar Election jeetoge. Tere, Election jeetne par kuch nahi hoga. Cheating badhegi. Eve Teaser, Canteen mein chai ki chusiyan lagayenge. Tu khud ek problem hai..Apne, Corrupt baap ki tarah.
Ransa - Mere, paas Maa hai.
Ransa ne jeb se bandook nikal, Nirav par taan di. Ek dhamaka huya. Aur, Nirav ka shareer shaant sa zameen par gir gaya.
Nirav ka Role kar rahe Ashok ka shareer sunn sa zameen par pada raha. Darshakon mein taaliyon ki awaz aur gehri hoti chali gayi. Ransa ka role, Play kar rahe Actor ke chehre par hawayein udne lagin...Ashok, ki Shirt se beh kar, Stage laal ho rahi thi...Abhimanyu, bhaga huya Stage par aaya...Ashok ke paas padi goli ko dekh kar woh sab mazra samajh gaya.
Abhimanyu - He is Dead........Tu, ghabra mat tujhe kuch nahi hoga. Tune, isse nahi maara.
'Ram Naam Sat Hai' ke naare sadak par gunz rahe the. Ashok ki laash lete huye, uske dost shamshaan ki taraf jaa rahe the. Abhimanyu ki aankhon mein sab se zada ansu the. Apne, Dost saman Bhai ki arthi woh kandhon par utha ke le jaa raha tha.
'Rukiye, aap aage nahi jaa sakte.'
Abhimanyu - Jee, hum shamshaan jaa rahe hain.
'Wapis, mud jaayie Sahib! Mr. Mittal ki Car yahan se guzarne hi waali hai..Aaj, woh apni Company ki Franchise launch karne jaa rahe hain.'
Uday - Ab?
Ashok ki laash ko waapis, auditorium ki stage par laa kar rakh diya gaya.
Abhimanyu - Aaj, aakhiri show dekh lo.
Abhimanyu, Seat par jaa kar baith gaya. Itne, mein jhuggi waale, Ashok ki laash par aa kar phool barsane lage.
Abhimanyu - Woh, mar chuka hai.
'Humare, liye toh Devta hai Sahab. Hum logon ko naye ghar diye jaa rahe hain. Sab, aap logon ke chande ki wajah se.'
Abhimanyu - Meri, nahi...Sirf, uski wajah se...Ab, tum log jaayo, Bulldozer kisi bhi pal yahan aa sakta hai..
Uday - Main, bhi rukta hun.
Abhimanyu - Tu, nikal...Main kuch der yahan akela baithna chahta hun.
Uday aur Jhuggi waale chale gaye.
Abhimanyu, Stage ki taraf aaya aur Ashok ki laash ko gale laga rone lage.
Abhimanyu - Maaf, karna Dost...Khoon se range inn haathon se antim sanskar kar raha hun. Apne, haathon se tere sapnon ka gala ghont diya.
Abhimanyu ne, Lighter nikala aur Stage par aag laga di. Aankhon mein ansu liye woh darwaze ki taraf chal pada. Jalti chita ke saath, Ashok ke armaan bhi dhuaan ban kar ud rahe the. Bulldozer ki awaz paas aa chuki thi.
'Goodmorning Sir. Me and my friends are from Blossoms Middle School. We are selling, Chocolates to raise donations for, 'Starve Hunger' Camp at our school. Would you like to buy one?'
Joy - No!
Darwaza bacchon ke munh par band ho gaya.
Shammi - Saala, jo Angrezi ka ratta chadya tha...Kisi kaam ka nahi..Sukhi, agli baar tu hi boliyo.
Sukhi - Munh par darwaza maara hai. Jee, toh karta hai iski chamdi utar kar, iski haddiyon ka Exhibition, Biology Class mein karun........Aye, woh dekh yeh kutta iske Garden mein bandha huya hai....Naresh, patthar le kar aa.
Ek dardnak cheekh gunzi. Joy ka garden, laal ho gaya. Joy, bhaaga huya aaya. Bacche jaa chuke the. Apne, kutte ki laash ko baahon le kar rone laga.
Joy - Kabhi - Kabhi, sabse kamzor....Sabse gehra ghaw de jaate hain.
Poora Auditorium taaliyon se gunz utha. Phoolon ki kalmein, hawa mein tairti huyi, Joy ka Role kar rahe Ashok ke pairon mein girne lagin. Parda band ho gaya.
Vishwa - Mr. Mittal, he is an fantastic actor.
Mittal - I know, Mr. Vishwa....I know.
Backstage, mauhal abhi shaant tha. Bawanda ke aane se pehle ki shaanti hawa mein thi.
Abhimanyu - Chaa, gaya kaminey......Chaa gaya...Kya, Performance di!
Parde ke peeche chal rahi iss tareef ke saath ab bahut kuch hone waale tha. Armani ke suit ki chamak ne Ashok, Abhimanyu,Uday ko chaunka sa diya.
Mittal - Well Done Mr. Ashok. What an exceptional play! I am Narayan Mittal and this is J.K. Vishwa. We are from M&V Industries......Let me not waste mine and your time....I want to buy this auditorium.
Ashok ko kaato toh khoon nahi.
Ashok - Jee, Yeh mere Pitaji ki yaad mein.......
Vishwa - Ghar aayi Lakshmi ko nahi thukarate...Yeh joote jaante hain kitne ke hain? Pachas Hazar, Made In China....Real Snake Skin..Saanp ki chamdi utar kar banaye hain. Bas, tumhe yeh Auditorium bechna hai, phir dekho saanp jaisi hari chamdi waale noton mein soyoge.
Mittal - We will....Infact I will make you an actor in Bollywood. Think about all the fame, money, power, stardom. People dream of it, You will experience it. Just sign this Contract. You are just one signature away from Heaven.
Ashok maano putle ke saaman wahan khada huya tha. Munh se kuch bol nahi nikal rahe the. Par, uske doston ko jubaan ko abhi tala nahi laga tha.
Abhimanyu - Iss, Auditorium ke saath toh Jhuggi waale rehte hain.
Vishwa - Tod denge.
Ashok ki aankhon mein khoon utar aaya. Uske kaampte haathon ne Contract uthaya aur do bhaagon mein vibhajit kar diya.
Ashok - Auditorium....Baba ki aakhiri nishani thi.
Mittal ke kadam darwaze ki taraf chal pade.
Vishwa - Apni, Photo par haar taangne ki taiyari kar le.
Uday - Woh, nahi maanega.
Abhimanyu - Bulldozer pakka aayega.
Ashok - Humme, Morcha uthana hoga.
Jhuggi - Basti waalon ke saath mil kar, Ashok aur uske doston ke kadam, M&V Industries ki taraf badh gaye.
Dopahar ka sooraj, aasman mein chamakane laga tha. Dharna abhi bhi chal raha tha. Par, Mittal ki aankhein aur nahi dekh saktin thin.
Mittal - Hello, Police Station......
Vishwa ke kadam Industry ke Gate paar kar ke, Ashok ke saamne aa ruke.
Vishwa - Tera baap toh mar gaya...Saale, ab hume bhookhe maarega kya?
Vishwa ka haath ghuma aur Ashok ka munh surkh laal ho gaya.
Ashok - Main, paise ikktha kar ke tumhe de dunga.
Vishwa - Tere paas do Kidney hain.......Ek Bech de.
Ashok - Yeh, mere hak ki ladai hai. Par, main kutta nahi hun joh doosre kutton se apni roti ke liye cheena - jhappati kare. Hum, yahan tab tak baithe rehenge jab tak hume humara hak nahi mil jaata.
Vishwa - Toh, apne aap ko goli maar le beta. Kyunki, tera hak kab ka Minister dwara sign kar diya gaya hai...Tujhe, kya laga?...Sarkari zameen par, Illegal tareeke se Auditorium bana lega..Do din hain..
Ashok ki aankhon mein paani bhar aaya. Is se pehle uske dost usse, sambhalte Siren ki awaz se mauhal garam ho gaya. Police ke sipahi laathi charge karne lage. Logon, mein afra - tafri mach gayi.
Uday - Ashok, uth.
Ashok abhi bhi wahin baitha raha. Abhimanyu aur Uday kisi tarah usse utha kar laane mein kamyab huye.
Uday - Paisa...Corruption..Corrupt log apne Desh ke saath - saath khud ko toh bech hi chuke hain. Ab, toh Sarkar ko Casinos mein logon ko ek dusre ka cheer haran bhi karne dena chahiye. Apne, bacchon ko maar kar un par se School ka bojh khatam karna chahiye..
Abhimanyu - Shaant Reh... Dekh, Ashok tu apni Performance par dhyaan de. Yeh shayad tera aakhiri Show hai. Yeh, Show hum khaas Charity ke liye kar rahe hain. Apni, nahi toh un Jhuggi waalon ki toh kuch madad kar paayein.
Ashok - Yeh le...Auditorium ka kagaaz. Shayad, yeh mere se zada tere haath mein rehne ka hakdar hai. Darwaza toh band ho hi chuka hai. Ab, koi chabbi nahi chalegi.
Abhimanyu kuch bola nahi. Bas, usne apne dost ko gale se laga liya. Parda uth gaya. Aur, Ashok, Nirav mein badal gaya.
'Nirav Shah...Zindabad'
Nirav - Yeh desh kahan tha. Ab kahan ho gaya hai. Aaj ka Youth badal gaya hai. Aaj, Change ki zarurat hai. Main koi krantikari nahi hun. Par, apne jaise College ke liye meri hi zarurat hai. Main, vaada karta hun sabko sabka sampooran adhikaar milega. Ragging ki jad hi ukhad di jaayegi. Eve Teasing ko band kiya jaayega. Inn sab mein mujhe aap sab ki zarurat hai. Aur, aapko meri. Vote, mujhe hi dein.
Youth ki bheed mein naare aur zor lene lage.
Peter ke pair daudte huye, Nirav tak pahunche. Aur, Nirav ke kadam wahan se seedha, Hostel ke 400 kamre mein pahunch gaya. Kamra, Ransa ka tha.
Ransa - Aayie, Neta Sahab! Kya lenge? Whisky, ya Desi hi peeyenge.
Nirav - Kaam ki baat bhaunk.
Ransa - Toh, Neta Ji aaj ki taza khabar yeh hai ki aap Election se withdraw kar rahe hain. Youth ko garam khoon chahiye.
Nirav - Khoon hai? Toh bahao. Par, tum kyun bahaoge? Baap, M.P. hai. Paise de kar Election jeetoge. Tere, Election jeetne par kuch nahi hoga. Cheating badhegi. Eve Teaser, Canteen mein chai ki chusiyan lagayenge. Tu khud ek problem hai..Apne, Corrupt baap ki tarah.
Ransa - Mere, paas Maa hai.
Ransa ne jeb se bandook nikal, Nirav par taan di. Ek dhamaka huya. Aur, Nirav ka shareer shaant sa zameen par gir gaya.
Nirav ka Role kar rahe Ashok ka shareer sunn sa zameen par pada raha. Darshakon mein taaliyon ki awaz aur gehri hoti chali gayi. Ransa ka role, Play kar rahe Actor ke chehre par hawayein udne lagin...Ashok, ki Shirt se beh kar, Stage laal ho rahi thi...Abhimanyu, bhaga huya Stage par aaya...Ashok ke paas padi goli ko dekh kar woh sab mazra samajh gaya.
Abhimanyu - He is Dead........Tu, ghabra mat tujhe kuch nahi hoga. Tune, isse nahi maara.
'Ram Naam Sat Hai' ke naare sadak par gunz rahe the. Ashok ki laash lete huye, uske dost shamshaan ki taraf jaa rahe the. Abhimanyu ki aankhon mein sab se zada ansu the. Apne, Dost saman Bhai ki arthi woh kandhon par utha ke le jaa raha tha.
'Rukiye, aap aage nahi jaa sakte.'
Abhimanyu - Jee, hum shamshaan jaa rahe hain.
'Wapis, mud jaayie Sahib! Mr. Mittal ki Car yahan se guzarne hi waali hai..Aaj, woh apni Company ki Franchise launch karne jaa rahe hain.'
Uday - Ab?
Ashok ki laash ko waapis, auditorium ki stage par laa kar rakh diya gaya.
Abhimanyu - Aaj, aakhiri show dekh lo.
Abhimanyu, Seat par jaa kar baith gaya. Itne, mein jhuggi waale, Ashok ki laash par aa kar phool barsane lage.
Abhimanyu - Woh, mar chuka hai.
'Humare, liye toh Devta hai Sahab. Hum logon ko naye ghar diye jaa rahe hain. Sab, aap logon ke chande ki wajah se.'
Abhimanyu - Meri, nahi...Sirf, uski wajah se...Ab, tum log jaayo, Bulldozer kisi bhi pal yahan aa sakta hai..
Uday - Main, bhi rukta hun.
Abhimanyu - Tu, nikal...Main kuch der yahan akela baithna chahta hun.
Uday aur Jhuggi waale chale gaye.
Abhimanyu, Stage ki taraf aaya aur Ashok ki laash ko gale laga rone lage.
Abhimanyu - Maaf, karna Dost...Khoon se range inn haathon se antim sanskar kar raha hun. Apne, haathon se tere sapnon ka gala ghont diya.
Abhimanyu ne, Lighter nikala aur Stage par aag laga di. Aankhon mein ansu liye woh darwaze ki taraf chal pada. Jalti chita ke saath, Ashok ke armaan bhi dhuaan ban kar ud rahe the. Bulldozer ki awaz paas aa chuki thi.
Sunset
"Has anything you have ever done made your life better?"
Monday
6:00 P.M.
The roads are busy as always..Old Man Vimmi's, Ice Cream Parlour is starting to get it's late evening customers. Even though I am standing far away from the road, I can see the flying dust particles everywhere. The cars, rickshaws, autos, and cycles' noises fall into the ears like bullets..This is India baby! The pollution covered sunset is a sight to kill and die for. Alright, finished with my cigarette. I drop the finished, unlit piece on the floor, squish it with my foot and say, 'Hasta La Vista Baby!' There are many things on the roads, the pavement, and even under my feet..It won't create a difference. Never has..Never will. My eyes, close for a minute...God Help Me..There has been an accident in front of my eyes..The driver covered in blood is crawling out of the car..No sign of movement from the second car. What do I do? Should I go out there and help the passengers. But, other people are also staring. Nobody is moving one inch..It would not create a difference even if I get involved..Besides, God forgives one sin..Let this be it.
Tuesday
9:30 A.M.
My head is still roaming around yesterday's incident. Depositing some money into my bank account might give me some relief. It is crowdy as usual. Long lines are forming around different windows. So, hot in here. Did someone steal your, A.C. or something? It feels good, when you are actually not saying something, just thinking it in your head. Try that, it actually feels good! Feels like you are in, front of a Police Officer, kick him, poke him, he wouldn't mind. Take all your anger off on the Police. Mumbai for me, and I don't know about you. Who am I talking to anyway? All this heat is travelling into my head.
"Put your hands up! This is a robbery. Everybody on the floor."
What the heck? Everybody is starting to put their hands in the air, and lying on the floor. I should do the same thing....Something is touching my head. I am starting to hear a loud voice over my head.
"I don't want any cleverness, or this man's brain will be blown out of his head."
I am a hostage. This man seems serious. He can blow my brain out of my head. I can hear my heart beat. It is very fast. I should try to do something..No, I should stay perfectly still. Why does not anyone do something? He is making me move. All I can see is the people lying on the floor. He is taking me away. What if he takes me outside the bank and shoots me? One bullet, and my body will be lying on the road. The gun is still on my head! I can feel the sweatiness all over my head. My head is feeling light suddenly. I gather my courage and turn around....The robbers are gone. Thank you, God.
12:00 P.M.
Midnight
Should I call myself lucky? Or, was it just a coincidence? He could have had shot me right away. The man had probably seen a lot of blood. Mine was not different. If he had shot me..Who would have had took me to my grave? I don't know a single person in my area. If my story gets a full stop, no editor is going to publish it..I know no one. I need a glass of Bacardi. On the rocks. I am done making my drink. Take a sip. Feels nice, strong. Most people say, 'Life is like a box of chocolates, you don't know what is going to come next.' Bullshit! Crime, Corruption, Rape, Robbery, Kidnapping. I find this in every corner of this country. Find it at every turn. Nobody takes responsibilty to clean it. Nobody gives a damn about others. I didn't. I was wrong. This is going to be changed. I will change it.
The plug is in the wire. I am turning the computer on. My target....Hacking the Police website. Hacking is pretty easy, if you work for a Computer Software Company, or if you are a Computer Engineer. Or, maybe I am just too drunk!
Wednesday
3:00 P.M.
I am on the location, I printed from the computer yesterday. It is the area of, Drug Lord A.J. Short for, Aditya Jhand. Supplies drugs to everybody in the whole state. From college students to peons to roadside vendors. I walk in the back alley. There is a little window. I kick the window. Still intact! One more kick. Not breaking. Windows also open. I open the window and jump on the floor. There is a faint smell of drugs in the air. I don't know whether it is cocaine, or heroine, or a mixture of several drugs. I have a knife..That's it. I am hiding behind a big drum. All I can see is some men, packaging some packets into big boxes. Looks like they hit a jackpot today........Something has hit me..My brain is falling into darkness.
A.J. - Who are you? What do you want? Why are you here?
Why are you doing this? Don't you believe in respect!
A. J. - I believe in death, destruction, chaos, filth and greed.
"Kill Him!"
He is walking away! The cries of alligator coming from his shoes....The goons are gathering around me. I am tied up. Can't move. Wait, they are bringing some sort of bottle. It has something in it. They are pouring it on my hand. AAAHHHH.....This shit burns..It is acid..My hand feels so dead. It feels like it has been cut off. Augh! Shit, this guy just punched me in my face. He is getting ready to throw the second punch. I need to close my eyes...
5 Minutes Later
My face feels messed up. I can feel the blood dripping on my pants from my face. Not done yet! Something is stinging me in my back. One of the goon is taking something out of my back...Knife..Bastard, stabbed me. He is going for it the second time..So, much for being a superhero!
10 Minutes Later
Flies have started walking on my back. I can feel my sliced skin getting sucked on by the flies. I turn my eyes towards the front. A gun pointing at my face. It is over. This is where he shoots. This is where I die. After one minute, a bullet is going to hit my face point blank, and the pieces of my face are going to be scattered on the floor. And, my body will be lying in a gutter. My heartbeat is going faster again. Experiencing a gun on your head, and facing death right in the barrel are two different cases. I should just close my eyes and say my last prayers. I hear the trigger being clicked. I heard it, the sound of my death approaching towards me....AAAHHHH...My shoulder...The bullet just hit my shoulder.
"I heard something. Go check the door. Maybe it is Police...Lets go."
I am alone, with the pain increasing minute by minute. The ropes they tied me with have become loose. I am trying to break free. I think I got it. Freedom. I am making my way out of the back door. I am running, as fast as I can. I can only hear one thing...My footsteps. My breath is becoming heavy. Can't run anymore. I am on the highway. The bullet is still in my shoulder! It feels like the fire from Hell. The poision is going to start making way through my body. Need to do something fast! I have my knife. It is surely going to hurt at first. AH! The knife is in, and now I take it out. The bullet falls on the road. Blood is dripping on the road, from my shoulder to the road. I am taking my shirt off. Covering my shoulder. Shirt is getting painted red. Need to go home.
12:00 P.M.
Midnight
It is Thurday. I am on the roof. Staring at the lonely night. I have done my dressing. Now, I understand the true meaning of life. There was a moment... when I used to blame everything and everyone... for all the pain and suffering and vile things that happened to me, that I saw happen to my people. Used to blame everybody. Blamed white people, blamed society, blamed God. I didn't get no answers 'cause I was asking the wrong questions. You have to ask the right questions. And the question is, 'When will the system be cured?' When will the crime rate decrease? When will people quit their selfishness? Corrupt Hain Saale Sab Ke Sab.
Now, I am seeing the true sunset. I have emailed, Police the whereabouts of, A.J. I do not want my picture on the front page, neither do I want any rewards. Because I know, I have done nothing. I am not a superhero. I have found out who am I.
I am jumping off my roof. My body is going to hit the ground and it is going to be all over. The, corruption is not that easy to change. Everybody is involved in it. It attacks your brain, but your heart is still there. Think through your heart..Breath through your heart. Like this wind, which is carrying me softly towards the ground. Feels like I am lying on my bed. But, this bed is a doorway towards the clouds. I found out who I am. I just have one last word.
"Superman."
Monday
6:00 P.M.
The roads are busy as always..Old Man Vimmi's, Ice Cream Parlour is starting to get it's late evening customers. Even though I am standing far away from the road, I can see the flying dust particles everywhere. The cars, rickshaws, autos, and cycles' noises fall into the ears like bullets..This is India baby! The pollution covered sunset is a sight to kill and die for. Alright, finished with my cigarette. I drop the finished, unlit piece on the floor, squish it with my foot and say, 'Hasta La Vista Baby!' There are many things on the roads, the pavement, and even under my feet..It won't create a difference. Never has..Never will. My eyes, close for a minute...God Help Me..There has been an accident in front of my eyes..The driver covered in blood is crawling out of the car..No sign of movement from the second car. What do I do? Should I go out there and help the passengers. But, other people are also staring. Nobody is moving one inch..It would not create a difference even if I get involved..Besides, God forgives one sin..Let this be it.
Tuesday
9:30 A.M.
My head is still roaming around yesterday's incident. Depositing some money into my bank account might give me some relief. It is crowdy as usual. Long lines are forming around different windows. So, hot in here. Did someone steal your, A.C. or something? It feels good, when you are actually not saying something, just thinking it in your head. Try that, it actually feels good! Feels like you are in, front of a Police Officer, kick him, poke him, he wouldn't mind. Take all your anger off on the Police. Mumbai for me, and I don't know about you. Who am I talking to anyway? All this heat is travelling into my head.
"Put your hands up! This is a robbery. Everybody on the floor."
What the heck? Everybody is starting to put their hands in the air, and lying on the floor. I should do the same thing....Something is touching my head. I am starting to hear a loud voice over my head.
"I don't want any cleverness, or this man's brain will be blown out of his head."
I am a hostage. This man seems serious. He can blow my brain out of my head. I can hear my heart beat. It is very fast. I should try to do something..No, I should stay perfectly still. Why does not anyone do something? He is making me move. All I can see is the people lying on the floor. He is taking me away. What if he takes me outside the bank and shoots me? One bullet, and my body will be lying on the road. The gun is still on my head! I can feel the sweatiness all over my head. My head is feeling light suddenly. I gather my courage and turn around....The robbers are gone. Thank you, God.
12:00 P.M.
Midnight
Should I call myself lucky? Or, was it just a coincidence? He could have had shot me right away. The man had probably seen a lot of blood. Mine was not different. If he had shot me..Who would have had took me to my grave? I don't know a single person in my area. If my story gets a full stop, no editor is going to publish it..I know no one. I need a glass of Bacardi. On the rocks. I am done making my drink. Take a sip. Feels nice, strong. Most people say, 'Life is like a box of chocolates, you don't know what is going to come next.' Bullshit! Crime, Corruption, Rape, Robbery, Kidnapping. I find this in every corner of this country. Find it at every turn. Nobody takes responsibilty to clean it. Nobody gives a damn about others. I didn't. I was wrong. This is going to be changed. I will change it.
The plug is in the wire. I am turning the computer on. My target....Hacking the Police website. Hacking is pretty easy, if you work for a Computer Software Company, or if you are a Computer Engineer. Or, maybe I am just too drunk!
Wednesday
3:00 P.M.
I am on the location, I printed from the computer yesterday. It is the area of, Drug Lord A.J. Short for, Aditya Jhand. Supplies drugs to everybody in the whole state. From college students to peons to roadside vendors. I walk in the back alley. There is a little window. I kick the window. Still intact! One more kick. Not breaking. Windows also open. I open the window and jump on the floor. There is a faint smell of drugs in the air. I don't know whether it is cocaine, or heroine, or a mixture of several drugs. I have a knife..That's it. I am hiding behind a big drum. All I can see is some men, packaging some packets into big boxes. Looks like they hit a jackpot today........Something has hit me..My brain is falling into darkness.
A.J. - Who are you? What do you want? Why are you here?
Why are you doing this? Don't you believe in respect!
A. J. - I believe in death, destruction, chaos, filth and greed.
"Kill Him!"
He is walking away! The cries of alligator coming from his shoes....The goons are gathering around me. I am tied up. Can't move. Wait, they are bringing some sort of bottle. It has something in it. They are pouring it on my hand. AAAHHHH.....This shit burns..It is acid..My hand feels so dead. It feels like it has been cut off. Augh! Shit, this guy just punched me in my face. He is getting ready to throw the second punch. I need to close my eyes...
5 Minutes Later
My face feels messed up. I can feel the blood dripping on my pants from my face. Not done yet! Something is stinging me in my back. One of the goon is taking something out of my back...Knife..Bastard, stabbed me. He is going for it the second time..So, much for being a superhero!
10 Minutes Later
Flies have started walking on my back. I can feel my sliced skin getting sucked on by the flies. I turn my eyes towards the front. A gun pointing at my face. It is over. This is where he shoots. This is where I die. After one minute, a bullet is going to hit my face point blank, and the pieces of my face are going to be scattered on the floor. And, my body will be lying in a gutter. My heartbeat is going faster again. Experiencing a gun on your head, and facing death right in the barrel are two different cases. I should just close my eyes and say my last prayers. I hear the trigger being clicked. I heard it, the sound of my death approaching towards me....AAAHHHH...My shoulder...The bullet just hit my shoulder.
"I heard something. Go check the door. Maybe it is Police...Lets go."
I am alone, with the pain increasing minute by minute. The ropes they tied me with have become loose. I am trying to break free. I think I got it. Freedom. I am making my way out of the back door. I am running, as fast as I can. I can only hear one thing...My footsteps. My breath is becoming heavy. Can't run anymore. I am on the highway. The bullet is still in my shoulder! It feels like the fire from Hell. The poision is going to start making way through my body. Need to do something fast! I have my knife. It is surely going to hurt at first. AH! The knife is in, and now I take it out. The bullet falls on the road. Blood is dripping on the road, from my shoulder to the road. I am taking my shirt off. Covering my shoulder. Shirt is getting painted red. Need to go home.
12:00 P.M.
Midnight
It is Thurday. I am on the roof. Staring at the lonely night. I have done my dressing. Now, I understand the true meaning of life. There was a moment... when I used to blame everything and everyone... for all the pain and suffering and vile things that happened to me, that I saw happen to my people. Used to blame everybody. Blamed white people, blamed society, blamed God. I didn't get no answers 'cause I was asking the wrong questions. You have to ask the right questions. And the question is, 'When will the system be cured?' When will the crime rate decrease? When will people quit their selfishness? Corrupt Hain Saale Sab Ke Sab.
Now, I am seeing the true sunset. I have emailed, Police the whereabouts of, A.J. I do not want my picture on the front page, neither do I want any rewards. Because I know, I have done nothing. I am not a superhero. I have found out who am I.
I am jumping off my roof. My body is going to hit the ground and it is going to be all over. The, corruption is not that easy to change. Everybody is involved in it. It attacks your brain, but your heart is still there. Think through your heart..Breath through your heart. Like this wind, which is carrying me softly towards the ground. Feels like I am lying on my bed. But, this bed is a doorway towards the clouds. I found out who I am. I just have one last word.
"Superman."
Tears Of A Clown
'Here's one more, I was attending a conference and somebody brings up Bush's name. I stand up, throw my shoes to the side and scream, 'Bush Twin'd Us!'....'
There were barely any spectators present in the auditorium. The once full, 'Clown Princes' Comedy House which gave world countless comedians was now witnessing empty seats. It seemed like they were going to shut down any day. Probably, they were just waiting for the right hour. Most of the workers had already quit their jobs and the only person apart from janitor who seemed to be doing any work was the, Stand - Up Comedian, 'Daniel 'Joker' Blanchett'.
Daniel - Get it! I am pointing at the conspiracy involving Bush's name thrown in the 9/11 attacks...This is Black Comedy at its best.
Timothy - I think, I've heard that one before.
Daniel - Come on Timmy...I am performing here.
Timothy - The House is empty Joker Boy! The, only claps you are going to get are from me or Ed The Janitor when he shows up for his shift.
Daniel - Never thought that I would be the last person to hear the sound of silence in this place.
Timothy - What sound?....What silence?....What are you talking about here?....The, only sound I ever heard in this place was manical laughter from every corner. Heck, the people laughed so loud that I had to put the material they use in garage doors in my windows. That sound and the sound of my pocket getting full of money. Look, at my pockets now. What do you see?...What do you hear?...They are empty, full of air. The windows are broken. Those seats are getting covered with dirt....Even, Ed was asking for better cleaning sprays. And, what should I pay him with? With your mindless humor!...Huh, Humor me Joker Boy. This place has fell apart and I want one last laugh. I will get that laugh when you walk out of that door. The door is not hard to find. Says, EXIT...And, it is capitalised.
Daniel - I have been performing on this stage for months, Tim. I filled the seats with crowd. Suddenly, the laughter faded away. I kept standing on the empty stage with the curtain closing on me. After, the curtain had closed all I could hear was the janitor's broom, sweeping on the floor, back and forth. The toughest thing in the world is to crack a joke and expect people to laugh. Because, if they don't the joke is on you.
Timothy - The joke has hit you! You are fired. Get out and never show me your face again because if you do your body will be lying on the floor and I will place it on the stage. Now, that will get you enough laughs and claps.
The curtain had closed.
'Danny, where have you been? You are overdue!'
Daniel - Ed, I am currently facing a financial crisis. I promise....
Ed - No promises, man. I have been hearing about this crisis for 8 months. You either pay now or leave my apartment.
Daniel's footsteps paved their way into the raining field.
Daniel - Oh, Thank You God! All, I needed was pathetic fallacy. Atleast, I still have Katherine.
The rain was starting to increase. The clouds had blocked moon's light. But, Daniel was still carrying a smile.
Katherine - Our, relationship is over. The ice broke a long time ago. And, what have you done for me? Forget about gifts, I have been paying your debt for like forever. And, don't try to call me or I will stab your heart with an icepick. Go and get a life.
The door slammed on Daniel's face.
Daniel - You shouldn't say those things Katy....I am a Pisces...And we are really sensitive.
'If, I had a tumor I would name it, 'Katherine'! I feel like King Lear now. And, I feel hungry....'
Daniel had found refuge with some beggars in an alley.
'Hey, buddy...Do you have a lighter?'
Daniel - Yes, I also have a broken heart and an empty stomach. Here!
Smoke from the ciggarette was hard to see in the darkness.
'Are you a clown?'
Daniel - Since the day I was born.
'Yo, Tom, Freddy, we got Hobbo The Clown over here. Gather up.'
The beggars gathered around Daniel, waiting for his next move. Waiting, to chuckle up. It seemed like the clown was having a bad day. He didnt talk.
Tom - Is he supposed to be, Monalisa?
Freddy - Where's the red nose?
Tom - Let's give him one!
For a moment there, Daniel didn't know what hit him. His eyes had already closed. Droplets of blood from his face were mixing with the puddles in the alley. And, there was his body lying in the alley.
'If you wake up at a different place, can you wake up as a completely different person? Bloodstains on my shirt are the least of my worries. My starved stomach is telling a whole different tale right now. Here, I stand in the street getting full of people. Where, no one cares about no one. They all walk. Some stare at me, disgusted by what I look like. Look, inside the deepest corners of your heart and you will find a cage with a monster locked inside. Tame that monster because once it becomes unleashed places will look shrunk enough to hide. If, I don't find food soon I will die and that monster will be unleashed. That, worries me.'
Daniel's hands were digging through the trash cans. His, eyes wondering through the garbage for food. Mouth was starting to water. Brain was drawing images for food in the mind. The temptation was making every thing worse. He picked up the garbage bin and threw it with full force towards the ground. The anger inside started to come out with the stomping on the piece of metal.
'I keep talking to myself. Thinking that this would calm my hunger. All, my eyes see are the people constantly chewing on food. They are everywhere. Like, zombies....Walking and chewing....Get hold of yourself Danny....Insanity is starting to take control of me...I need food...'
Sun was at its highest. Temperature was increasing. And, there stood Danny holding a sign that read, 'WILL GET BEATEN FOR FOOD!!'. Things, hunger can make a person do.
Daniel - Sir, would you like to beat me up. I am a human punching bag. Take your anger out on me. Make me taste my own blood. If you buy a punching bag, it will cost you a lot. But, you will never get the feeling of a real punching bag.
'How much?'
A smile started to merge on his face. The man took of his coat. And, pain started to come in.
Daniel - This is the best coffee I have ever had and I have had some good ones. Not a bad job really. Just have to remember to faint after 5 minutes or I will break some bones. Surgery is expensive.
It's has just been reported that the professional comedian, 'Hit - Mo' has been found dead in his mansion.....
Daniel - Turn Up...Turn the volume up!
'Our reporters are live on the scene. Apparently the famous comedian hanged himself. Police are not letting anyone inside. The only information we were able to get is that he wrote a quote on his walls saying, 'Comedy Is Dead'. We will keep you informed as we gain further information.'
'A comedian died today. These people will talk for a while and shut up.......I am Jack's Silenced Laughter...I talk without speaking and hear without listening. His death will bring thousands of fans and supporters on his funeral. Roads will fill up the cemetary. Coffin will be brought. He will be buried. Tears will be shed. Speeches will be made. And, he will become a legend. What happens when I leave? Nobody cares...Aprt from a few people nobody knows me and they don't try to know me. They don't look beyond the mask that I wear. They never gave me the recognition. I never got what I deserved. Even after his death he will be standing out in the cemetary. But, I am like a chameleon. You expect me to blend in. Well, I simply can't. I don't blend with people with thousand masks. The fame that I should always walk with, despises me.......I am Jack's smirking revenge!....All what you have done is simply not enough. They want more. More till you burst like a bubble. The clown antiques, the reused jokes, the stereotypical humor, is outdated. You give them dialouges. They want themes. And you take the singing dancing crap of the world. Well, I am putting an end to this. I respect the love my fans have given me. So, when I walk out there the curtain is going to remain open. It is going to close when the smirk is gone from my face. And you know what, my monster has come out of its cage..............'
The silence followed, unitl a voice broke it.
Timothy - I have deep concerns about you, Danny Boy. But, I am helpless...I respect your thoughts on everything you just said...I really do...But, I have sold this place.
Daniel - Fear is starting to take ahold of you. What are you afraid of? The gun...Huh...Is the gun intimidating you? I had to give, Katherine a visit. She was angry at first, but I made her mood better. After, I left she didn't say anything. Didn't utter one single word. She remained there, lying motionless. The gun is her courtesy. And my payment is yours.
Timothy - There is no money.....
Daniel - Look, you give me the money and I walk out of here. And maybe just shoot you in the leg. Don't give me the money, well then my gun wants to laugh out loud with a bang.
Timothy ran for the bathroom. His hands locked the door and his cell phone made its way out of the pocket towards his ear.
Daniel - Oh, Fat Boy.....You have made this whole thing worse than it already was. Come out and I won't torture you to death.
Timothy - Police Station. I have got a mad man in my office.....He is trying to kill me. He has got a gun. I have locked myself in my bathroom. Yes, I will stay here. Come quick.
The Police Cars made their way out of the traffic. Sirens were still screaming. They surrounded the whole place. Daniel was unaware of the Police who were behind the door of Timothy's office.
'Freeze. Put down your weapon and step away from the door with hands behind your back.'
The gun hit the floor. Timothy opened his door and came out.
'Sir, there are no bullets in the gun!'
'What did you do? Did you kill anyone?'
Timothy - He killed his girlfriend.
Katherine's voice reached, Police's ears.
Daniel - I Am Jack's Maniacal Wits.
Daniel's laughter filled the whole room. His laughter has still not faded away. Daniel sits in a mental asylum with smirk across his face laughing silently.
'The toughest job in the world is to crack a joke and expect people to laugh. Because if they don't, the joke is on you!'
There were barely any spectators present in the auditorium. The once full, 'Clown Princes' Comedy House which gave world countless comedians was now witnessing empty seats. It seemed like they were going to shut down any day. Probably, they were just waiting for the right hour. Most of the workers had already quit their jobs and the only person apart from janitor who seemed to be doing any work was the, Stand - Up Comedian, 'Daniel 'Joker' Blanchett'.
Daniel - Get it! I am pointing at the conspiracy involving Bush's name thrown in the 9/11 attacks...This is Black Comedy at its best.
Timothy - I think, I've heard that one before.
Daniel - Come on Timmy...I am performing here.
Timothy - The House is empty Joker Boy! The, only claps you are going to get are from me or Ed The Janitor when he shows up for his shift.
Daniel - Never thought that I would be the last person to hear the sound of silence in this place.
Timothy - What sound?....What silence?....What are you talking about here?....The, only sound I ever heard in this place was manical laughter from every corner. Heck, the people laughed so loud that I had to put the material they use in garage doors in my windows. That sound and the sound of my pocket getting full of money. Look, at my pockets now. What do you see?...What do you hear?...They are empty, full of air. The windows are broken. Those seats are getting covered with dirt....Even, Ed was asking for better cleaning sprays. And, what should I pay him with? With your mindless humor!...Huh, Humor me Joker Boy. This place has fell apart and I want one last laugh. I will get that laugh when you walk out of that door. The door is not hard to find. Says, EXIT...And, it is capitalised.
Daniel - I have been performing on this stage for months, Tim. I filled the seats with crowd. Suddenly, the laughter faded away. I kept standing on the empty stage with the curtain closing on me. After, the curtain had closed all I could hear was the janitor's broom, sweeping on the floor, back and forth. The toughest thing in the world is to crack a joke and expect people to laugh. Because, if they don't the joke is on you.
Timothy - The joke has hit you! You are fired. Get out and never show me your face again because if you do your body will be lying on the floor and I will place it on the stage. Now, that will get you enough laughs and claps.
The curtain had closed.
'Danny, where have you been? You are overdue!'
Daniel - Ed, I am currently facing a financial crisis. I promise....
Ed - No promises, man. I have been hearing about this crisis for 8 months. You either pay now or leave my apartment.
Daniel's footsteps paved their way into the raining field.
Daniel - Oh, Thank You God! All, I needed was pathetic fallacy. Atleast, I still have Katherine.
The rain was starting to increase. The clouds had blocked moon's light. But, Daniel was still carrying a smile.
Katherine - Our, relationship is over. The ice broke a long time ago. And, what have you done for me? Forget about gifts, I have been paying your debt for like forever. And, don't try to call me or I will stab your heart with an icepick. Go and get a life.
The door slammed on Daniel's face.
Daniel - You shouldn't say those things Katy....I am a Pisces...And we are really sensitive.
'If, I had a tumor I would name it, 'Katherine'! I feel like King Lear now. And, I feel hungry....'
Daniel had found refuge with some beggars in an alley.
'Hey, buddy...Do you have a lighter?'
Daniel - Yes, I also have a broken heart and an empty stomach. Here!
Smoke from the ciggarette was hard to see in the darkness.
'Are you a clown?'
Daniel - Since the day I was born.
'Yo, Tom, Freddy, we got Hobbo The Clown over here. Gather up.'
The beggars gathered around Daniel, waiting for his next move. Waiting, to chuckle up. It seemed like the clown was having a bad day. He didnt talk.
Tom - Is he supposed to be, Monalisa?
Freddy - Where's the red nose?
Tom - Let's give him one!
For a moment there, Daniel didn't know what hit him. His eyes had already closed. Droplets of blood from his face were mixing with the puddles in the alley. And, there was his body lying in the alley.
'If you wake up at a different place, can you wake up as a completely different person? Bloodstains on my shirt are the least of my worries. My starved stomach is telling a whole different tale right now. Here, I stand in the street getting full of people. Where, no one cares about no one. They all walk. Some stare at me, disgusted by what I look like. Look, inside the deepest corners of your heart and you will find a cage with a monster locked inside. Tame that monster because once it becomes unleashed places will look shrunk enough to hide. If, I don't find food soon I will die and that monster will be unleashed. That, worries me.'
Daniel's hands were digging through the trash cans. His, eyes wondering through the garbage for food. Mouth was starting to water. Brain was drawing images for food in the mind. The temptation was making every thing worse. He picked up the garbage bin and threw it with full force towards the ground. The anger inside started to come out with the stomping on the piece of metal.
'I keep talking to myself. Thinking that this would calm my hunger. All, my eyes see are the people constantly chewing on food. They are everywhere. Like, zombies....Walking and chewing....Get hold of yourself Danny....Insanity is starting to take control of me...I need food...'
Sun was at its highest. Temperature was increasing. And, there stood Danny holding a sign that read, 'WILL GET BEATEN FOR FOOD!!'. Things, hunger can make a person do.
Daniel - Sir, would you like to beat me up. I am a human punching bag. Take your anger out on me. Make me taste my own blood. If you buy a punching bag, it will cost you a lot. But, you will never get the feeling of a real punching bag.
'How much?'
A smile started to merge on his face. The man took of his coat. And, pain started to come in.
Daniel - This is the best coffee I have ever had and I have had some good ones. Not a bad job really. Just have to remember to faint after 5 minutes or I will break some bones. Surgery is expensive.
It's has just been reported that the professional comedian, 'Hit - Mo' has been found dead in his mansion.....
Daniel - Turn Up...Turn the volume up!
'Our reporters are live on the scene. Apparently the famous comedian hanged himself. Police are not letting anyone inside. The only information we were able to get is that he wrote a quote on his walls saying, 'Comedy Is Dead'. We will keep you informed as we gain further information.'
'A comedian died today. These people will talk for a while and shut up.......I am Jack's Silenced Laughter...I talk without speaking and hear without listening. His death will bring thousands of fans and supporters on his funeral. Roads will fill up the cemetary. Coffin will be brought. He will be buried. Tears will be shed. Speeches will be made. And, he will become a legend. What happens when I leave? Nobody cares...Aprt from a few people nobody knows me and they don't try to know me. They don't look beyond the mask that I wear. They never gave me the recognition. I never got what I deserved. Even after his death he will be standing out in the cemetary. But, I am like a chameleon. You expect me to blend in. Well, I simply can't. I don't blend with people with thousand masks. The fame that I should always walk with, despises me.......I am Jack's smirking revenge!....All what you have done is simply not enough. They want more. More till you burst like a bubble. The clown antiques, the reused jokes, the stereotypical humor, is outdated. You give them dialouges. They want themes. And you take the singing dancing crap of the world. Well, I am putting an end to this. I respect the love my fans have given me. So, when I walk out there the curtain is going to remain open. It is going to close when the smirk is gone from my face. And you know what, my monster has come out of its cage..............'
The silence followed, unitl a voice broke it.
Timothy - I have deep concerns about you, Danny Boy. But, I am helpless...I respect your thoughts on everything you just said...I really do...But, I have sold this place.
Daniel - Fear is starting to take ahold of you. What are you afraid of? The gun...Huh...Is the gun intimidating you? I had to give, Katherine a visit. She was angry at first, but I made her mood better. After, I left she didn't say anything. Didn't utter one single word. She remained there, lying motionless. The gun is her courtesy. And my payment is yours.
Timothy - There is no money.....
Daniel - Look, you give me the money and I walk out of here. And maybe just shoot you in the leg. Don't give me the money, well then my gun wants to laugh out loud with a bang.
Timothy ran for the bathroom. His hands locked the door and his cell phone made its way out of the pocket towards his ear.
Daniel - Oh, Fat Boy.....You have made this whole thing worse than it already was. Come out and I won't torture you to death.
Timothy - Police Station. I have got a mad man in my office.....He is trying to kill me. He has got a gun. I have locked myself in my bathroom. Yes, I will stay here. Come quick.
The Police Cars made their way out of the traffic. Sirens were still screaming. They surrounded the whole place. Daniel was unaware of the Police who were behind the door of Timothy's office.
'Freeze. Put down your weapon and step away from the door with hands behind your back.'
The gun hit the floor. Timothy opened his door and came out.
'Sir, there are no bullets in the gun!'
'What did you do? Did you kill anyone?'
Timothy - He killed his girlfriend.
Katherine's voice reached, Police's ears.
Daniel - I Am Jack's Maniacal Wits.
Daniel's laughter filled the whole room. His laughter has still not faded away. Daniel sits in a mental asylum with smirk across his face laughing silently.
'The toughest job in the world is to crack a joke and expect people to laugh. Because if they don't, the joke is on you!'
Yakuza
In the midst of, Sanja Matsuri festival it was hard to hear anything else. Thousands of Japanese groups carrying the shrine through the streets, shouting, showing off their culture. Nothing else could be heard. It, seemed like the whole Japan was walking on the streets.
But, still the landing of planes signalled the comeback of several Japanese citizens. In, all these faces their were several new faces walking, trying to blend in. Some, were just tourists. While, others did not know what they were going into.
The leather shoes had just crossed the, Airport gate. The suit symbolised that the person was of a upper status. His eyes constantly kept on looking at the, Rolex watch stuck on his hand.
'Taxi!', he screamed.
Between all the noise, it didn't look like that any taxi was going to be coming.
The man had realised that, and started to walk his way through the crowd. But, this wasn't like the normal crowd. It was different. There were people with full body tattos.
The leather shoes had to stop. There was something poking the coat.
'Move to the side!'
'Look if you want money......'
'Michael. Do, as we tell you.'
How do they know his name? Michael's eyes started to look around in fear. It didn't take a minute until, Michael's face was covered with a chloroform invested cloth. His, eyes started to close. Mind, started to succumb into darkness.
'Wake him up!'
'Yes, Wakagashira.'
Cold droplets of water started to hit, Michael's face. He started to gain conscience.
Michael - Where.....Where am I?
Wakagashira - Where?...That is not the question you should be asking...Why?...That is.
Michael - You don't know what I can...
Wakagashira - You can't do anything, Mr. Michael Shank. I am the one holding the gun right now. Whatever, I say goes. There are 45 men in this room right now. All, capable of filling your body with countless bullets, that your blood will have to find it's way out.
Michael - Listen, you son of a....
Wakagashira's hand moved and a cold blade came on Michael's neck.
Wakagashira - Talk with respect to the first lieutenant. Or, I will cut your body, and hang it on the streets.
Fear started to take over, Michael's mind. This was a serious situation.
'Wakagashira, Oyabun wants to see you.'
Wakagashira - Guard him!
Michael's eyes started to look around. He saw, some men getting tattoed. Guns being taken away. And, a group of young girls chained. The tears of young girls started to rip, Michael's heart. But, he himself was helpless.
'Oyabun'
A voice alarmed him and, Michael's attention went towards the stairs where a black suited man followed by Wakagashira and two other men was stepping down.
Oyabun - Welcome, Mr. Shank. Any difficulty finding the headquarters of Yamaguchi - gumi.
Michael's mouth did not move but his eyes kept looking at the cigar being smoked by the Oyabun.
Oyabun - Your fragile mind must be full of many questions. And, you also must be shocked to see, so many Japanese speaking, 'English'. We have to learn it, Mr. Shank. It is all done for business....Oh, yes...Our, business. Who are we? What do we do? We are a clan of Yakuza. The name of our family is Yamaguchi - gumi. And, we do everything. Right, now I am going to make you an offer. Sign, this contract and you will be free. Free to smell the fresh air and see the daylight of your life again. And, if you don't, I will put your life in such a darkness that you will wish you were given an easy death.
Before, Michael could say something the silence was broken by the dogs, holded by two men.
Oyabun - My dogs are hungry, Mr. Shank. Each one of them.
The, heart inside the suit seemed it was going to jump out. If, Michael didn't speak now, he would never be able to speak again.
Michael - What...Contract?
Oyabun - You are here to settle the deal between your company and the Yamashiro company. You are the head of the board of stockholders. Now, your job is to right now sign this contract, making us the owner of your stocks. Hurry, Mr. Shank, your sweat is ruining your perfect suit...And, my dogs are becoming impatient.
Michael's eyes looked at the contract and then at the Oyabun. His, cigar was almost over. The ashes falling on the table could have had been, Michael's body falling apart piece by piece.
His, hand moved and the Contract paper got filled with red ink.
Oyabun - Well, done Mr. Shank. Let's settle this deal with a glass of sake. Ane-San.
A woman was bringing two glasses.
Oyabun - This is my wife. Now, drink the sake, Mr. Shank.
Michael's trembling hands picked up the glass.
Oyabun - It's not poison, Mr. Shank. Take a sip. Good for your heart.
Michael, somehow gulped a sip down.
Oyabun - Now, we switch glasses.
Ane-San took, Oyabun's glass and started to walk towards Michael. Michael's eyes rolled towards the knife still sitting on the table after his first encounter with Wakagashira. Michael's fear started to turn into hope. He grabbed the knife and got hold of Ane-San. Knife resting on her throat. His, hands were still shaking. Heartbeat getting faster. Nerves ready to pop out of the brain.
Michael - Don't....Don't...Move!
Each and every men in that room ready to make a move, but Oyabun's hand had stopped them.
Oyabun - I will give you a chance, Mr. Shank. Get out of here, until I finish my cigar and if you can't.......Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Michael - I have your wife as a hostage, and you are laughing at me.
Before, Michael could move back one more step a sword came onto his back.
'Drop the knife, or my sword bathes in blood today!'
This, man was serious. Michael would not be able to escape alive. Knife hit the floor. Ane-San moved away from, Michael.
Oyabun - Ah...My second lieutenant. You shall be rewarded.
Shateigashira - Your service is my reward, sir.
Oyabun - And for you, Mr. Shank..........Yubitsume!
Yubitsume, or the cutting of one's finger, was a form of penance or apology. Upon a first offence, the transgressor must cut off the tip of his left little finger and hand the severed portion to his boss. Sometimes an underboss may do this in penance to the oyabun if he wants to spare a member of his own gang from further retaliation.
Several, men holded Michael while Wakagashira got ready.
Oyabun - I know you will not cut your own finger.
Wakagashira walked towards, Michael.
Wakagashira - Ready?
The sword came down and the room filled with shouts of pain. Michael's little finger was lying on the ground with blood around it. Blood was still dripping from, Michael's hand.
Oyabun - Normally, I would stop after this, Mr. Shank. I have a heart too. But, you have touched my wife. This crime has no punishment. Only, freedom is your punishment.
Oyabun, gave a signal and the men got ready. Several, guns aimed at Michael.
Michael - No....Please....Don't.
Oyabun - There is no wrong place or a wrong time. There are just wrong people. And, you are one of them. You must be set free.
Cigar hit the ground and several bullets found a way into, Michael's body. His suit's colour changed into red.
Sanja Matsuri was over. But, there was still a crowd gathered around a wall. But, this time they were staring at a body. Body of Michael Shank. And, written in blood on the wall was a message, 'Yakuza'.
But, still the landing of planes signalled the comeback of several Japanese citizens. In, all these faces their were several new faces walking, trying to blend in. Some, were just tourists. While, others did not know what they were going into.
The leather shoes had just crossed the, Airport gate. The suit symbolised that the person was of a upper status. His eyes constantly kept on looking at the, Rolex watch stuck on his hand.
'Taxi!', he screamed.
Between all the noise, it didn't look like that any taxi was going to be coming.
The man had realised that, and started to walk his way through the crowd. But, this wasn't like the normal crowd. It was different. There were people with full body tattos.
The leather shoes had to stop. There was something poking the coat.
'Move to the side!'
'Look if you want money......'
'Michael. Do, as we tell you.'
How do they know his name? Michael's eyes started to look around in fear. It didn't take a minute until, Michael's face was covered with a chloroform invested cloth. His, eyes started to close. Mind, started to succumb into darkness.
'Wake him up!'
'Yes, Wakagashira.'
Cold droplets of water started to hit, Michael's face. He started to gain conscience.
Michael - Where.....Where am I?
Wakagashira - Where?...That is not the question you should be asking...Why?...That is.
Michael - You don't know what I can...
Wakagashira - You can't do anything, Mr. Michael Shank. I am the one holding the gun right now. Whatever, I say goes. There are 45 men in this room right now. All, capable of filling your body with countless bullets, that your blood will have to find it's way out.
Michael - Listen, you son of a....
Wakagashira's hand moved and a cold blade came on Michael's neck.
Wakagashira - Talk with respect to the first lieutenant. Or, I will cut your body, and hang it on the streets.
Fear started to take over, Michael's mind. This was a serious situation.
'Wakagashira, Oyabun wants to see you.'
Wakagashira - Guard him!
Michael's eyes started to look around. He saw, some men getting tattoed. Guns being taken away. And, a group of young girls chained. The tears of young girls started to rip, Michael's heart. But, he himself was helpless.
'Oyabun'
A voice alarmed him and, Michael's attention went towards the stairs where a black suited man followed by Wakagashira and two other men was stepping down.
Oyabun - Welcome, Mr. Shank. Any difficulty finding the headquarters of Yamaguchi - gumi.
Michael's mouth did not move but his eyes kept looking at the cigar being smoked by the Oyabun.
Oyabun - Your fragile mind must be full of many questions. And, you also must be shocked to see, so many Japanese speaking, 'English'. We have to learn it, Mr. Shank. It is all done for business....Oh, yes...Our, business. Who are we? What do we do? We are a clan of Yakuza. The name of our family is Yamaguchi - gumi. And, we do everything. Right, now I am going to make you an offer. Sign, this contract and you will be free. Free to smell the fresh air and see the daylight of your life again. And, if you don't, I will put your life in such a darkness that you will wish you were given an easy death.
Before, Michael could say something the silence was broken by the dogs, holded by two men.
Oyabun - My dogs are hungry, Mr. Shank. Each one of them.
The, heart inside the suit seemed it was going to jump out. If, Michael didn't speak now, he would never be able to speak again.
Michael - What...Contract?
Oyabun - You are here to settle the deal between your company and the Yamashiro company. You are the head of the board of stockholders. Now, your job is to right now sign this contract, making us the owner of your stocks. Hurry, Mr. Shank, your sweat is ruining your perfect suit...And, my dogs are becoming impatient.
Michael's eyes looked at the contract and then at the Oyabun. His, cigar was almost over. The ashes falling on the table could have had been, Michael's body falling apart piece by piece.
His, hand moved and the Contract paper got filled with red ink.
Oyabun - Well, done Mr. Shank. Let's settle this deal with a glass of sake. Ane-San.
A woman was bringing two glasses.
Oyabun - This is my wife. Now, drink the sake, Mr. Shank.
Michael's trembling hands picked up the glass.
Oyabun - It's not poison, Mr. Shank. Take a sip. Good for your heart.
Michael, somehow gulped a sip down.
Oyabun - Now, we switch glasses.
Ane-San took, Oyabun's glass and started to walk towards Michael. Michael's eyes rolled towards the knife still sitting on the table after his first encounter with Wakagashira. Michael's fear started to turn into hope. He grabbed the knife and got hold of Ane-San. Knife resting on her throat. His, hands were still shaking. Heartbeat getting faster. Nerves ready to pop out of the brain.
Michael - Don't....Don't...Move!
Each and every men in that room ready to make a move, but Oyabun's hand had stopped them.
Oyabun - I will give you a chance, Mr. Shank. Get out of here, until I finish my cigar and if you can't.......Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Michael - I have your wife as a hostage, and you are laughing at me.
Before, Michael could move back one more step a sword came onto his back.
'Drop the knife, or my sword bathes in blood today!'
This, man was serious. Michael would not be able to escape alive. Knife hit the floor. Ane-San moved away from, Michael.
Oyabun - Ah...My second lieutenant. You shall be rewarded.
Shateigashira - Your service is my reward, sir.
Oyabun - And for you, Mr. Shank..........Yubitsume!
Yubitsume, or the cutting of one's finger, was a form of penance or apology. Upon a first offence, the transgressor must cut off the tip of his left little finger and hand the severed portion to his boss. Sometimes an underboss may do this in penance to the oyabun if he wants to spare a member of his own gang from further retaliation.
Several, men holded Michael while Wakagashira got ready.
Oyabun - I know you will not cut your own finger.
Wakagashira walked towards, Michael.
Wakagashira - Ready?
The sword came down and the room filled with shouts of pain. Michael's little finger was lying on the ground with blood around it. Blood was still dripping from, Michael's hand.
Oyabun - Normally, I would stop after this, Mr. Shank. I have a heart too. But, you have touched my wife. This crime has no punishment. Only, freedom is your punishment.
Oyabun, gave a signal and the men got ready. Several, guns aimed at Michael.
Michael - No....Please....Don't.
Oyabun - There is no wrong place or a wrong time. There are just wrong people. And, you are one of them. You must be set free.
Cigar hit the ground and several bullets found a way into, Michael's body. His suit's colour changed into red.
Sanja Matsuri was over. But, there was still a crowd gathered around a wall. But, this time they were staring at a body. Body of Michael Shank. And, written in blood on the wall was a message, 'Yakuza'.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Demon In A Bottle
"सॉरी, आपकी दूसरी किडनी भी फ़ेल हो गयी है. क्या, अब आप हॉस्पिटल में भर्ती होना चाहेंगे?"
"पहले, ठेके पर जाना चाहूँगा!"
हॉस्पिटल के कॉरिडोर में चलते, राहुल के चेहरे पर एक मुस्कान उभर रही थी. डॉक्टर, की बात आज तक किसने सुनी है? आज, उसे एक ही पैग चढाने का मौका मिला था! अपने, दिल की धीमी पड़ती धड्कन उसके कान सुन पा रहे थे. क्या, पता अभी वहीँ गिर पड़े? किसी तरह, राहुल कार तक पहुंचा.
कार, की डिकी में बकार्डी का एक पूरा पैक था! शराब पि कर गाड़ी चलाना हानिकारक है.
राहुल की नज़रें सड़क पर कम, और बोत्तल की तरफ जादा थीं! स्ट्रीट लाइट के निचे से गुज़र रही गाड़ी, कठपुतली की तरह चल रही थी. राहुल, अपनी यादों में खो चूका था! उसे, अभी भी याद थी वो मनहूस रात, जिस दिन उसने अपनी बीवी और दो बच्चों को एक्सीडेंट में खोया था! याद, थीं वो चीखें जो अब भी उसके दिमाग में घूम रहीं थीं! अपने, परिवार के खून से सने चेहरे...शराब पि कर गाड़ी चला रहे, राहुल को तो कुछ नहीं हुआ पर एक बोत्तल ने उसकी पूरी ज़िन्दगी उजाड़ दी.
पर, अब राहुल की दूसरी शादी हो चुकी थी! और, उसका एक बेटा भी था. अपनी, यादों में खोये राहुल को यह भी नहीं पता था, की आज उसके साथ वाला शैतान फिर से भूखा था! गाड़ी, खंभे से जा टकराई. पेट्रोल, के साथ ही कुछ और भी बह रहा था. खून!
रुको...गाड़ी का दरवाज़ा खुला, खून से रँगे जूते का निशान तारकोल पर पड़ा. अभी, राहुल जिंदा था. पूरा सूट खून से ज़रूर रंग चूका था, फिर भी चेहरे पर मुस्कान थी. राहुल, ने डिक्की खोली, और पागलों की तरह शराब की बोत्त्लें सड़क पर फेंकने लगा. यह, हर इंसान करता है. जगह कोई भी हो, वक़्त कोई भी हो, रंग कोई भी हो...खून सबका एक है...और, यह सड़क पर टूटतीं बोत्त्लें, राहुल की चीखें हैं. हर, किसी की अलग होती हैं.
एक, बोत्तल बची गयी! राहुल, का घर बस १५ मिनट दूर था! उसकी, आँखें अब नम नहीं थीं. शायद, आखिरी बोत्तल बचने की वजह से.
अपने, घर के सामने खड़े राहुल ने वोह बोत्तल ख़तम की और अन्दर घुस गया. उसकी नज़र किसी को ढूंढ रही थी. पर, यह क्या? यह तो उसकी पहली बीवी है! उसे, उसका पीछा करने का इशारा कर रही है!
"तुम जिंदा हो?"
राहुल के कदम उसकी नयी बीवी के कमरे में पड़े. रसोई से उठाया हुआ चाकू, उसके हाथ में चमक रहा था! एक, पल बाद उसकी बीवी का सर उसके हाथ में था. पूरा बिस्तर खून से नहा चूका था! उसके, बाद अपने बेटे को गोली मारी.
"मैं, मर चूका हूँ !"
चाकू, राहुल के सिने में से जगह बनता हुआ उसके दिल को चीर गया. पहले से ही खून सने, सूट पर नया खून लग गया!
"पहले, ठेके पर जाना चाहूँगा!"
हॉस्पिटल के कॉरिडोर में चलते, राहुल के चेहरे पर एक मुस्कान उभर रही थी. डॉक्टर, की बात आज तक किसने सुनी है? आज, उसे एक ही पैग चढाने का मौका मिला था! अपने, दिल की धीमी पड़ती धड्कन उसके कान सुन पा रहे थे. क्या, पता अभी वहीँ गिर पड़े? किसी तरह, राहुल कार तक पहुंचा.
कार, की डिकी में बकार्डी का एक पूरा पैक था! शराब पि कर गाड़ी चलाना हानिकारक है.
राहुल की नज़रें सड़क पर कम, और बोत्तल की तरफ जादा थीं! स्ट्रीट लाइट के निचे से गुज़र रही गाड़ी, कठपुतली की तरह चल रही थी. राहुल, अपनी यादों में खो चूका था! उसे, अभी भी याद थी वो मनहूस रात, जिस दिन उसने अपनी बीवी और दो बच्चों को एक्सीडेंट में खोया था! याद, थीं वो चीखें जो अब भी उसके दिमाग में घूम रहीं थीं! अपने, परिवार के खून से सने चेहरे...शराब पि कर गाड़ी चला रहे, राहुल को तो कुछ नहीं हुआ पर एक बोत्तल ने उसकी पूरी ज़िन्दगी उजाड़ दी.
पर, अब राहुल की दूसरी शादी हो चुकी थी! और, उसका एक बेटा भी था. अपनी, यादों में खोये राहुल को यह भी नहीं पता था, की आज उसके साथ वाला शैतान फिर से भूखा था! गाड़ी, खंभे से जा टकराई. पेट्रोल, के साथ ही कुछ और भी बह रहा था. खून!
रुको...गाड़ी का दरवाज़ा खुला, खून से रँगे जूते का निशान तारकोल पर पड़ा. अभी, राहुल जिंदा था. पूरा सूट खून से ज़रूर रंग चूका था, फिर भी चेहरे पर मुस्कान थी. राहुल, ने डिक्की खोली, और पागलों की तरह शराब की बोत्त्लें सड़क पर फेंकने लगा. यह, हर इंसान करता है. जगह कोई भी हो, वक़्त कोई भी हो, रंग कोई भी हो...खून सबका एक है...और, यह सड़क पर टूटतीं बोत्त्लें, राहुल की चीखें हैं. हर, किसी की अलग होती हैं.
एक, बोत्तल बची गयी! राहुल, का घर बस १५ मिनट दूर था! उसकी, आँखें अब नम नहीं थीं. शायद, आखिरी बोत्तल बचने की वजह से.
अपने, घर के सामने खड़े राहुल ने वोह बोत्तल ख़तम की और अन्दर घुस गया. उसकी नज़र किसी को ढूंढ रही थी. पर, यह क्या? यह तो उसकी पहली बीवी है! उसे, उसका पीछा करने का इशारा कर रही है!
"तुम जिंदा हो?"
राहुल के कदम उसकी नयी बीवी के कमरे में पड़े. रसोई से उठाया हुआ चाकू, उसके हाथ में चमक रहा था! एक, पल बाद उसकी बीवी का सर उसके हाथ में था. पूरा बिस्तर खून से नहा चूका था! उसके, बाद अपने बेटे को गोली मारी.
"मैं, मर चूका हूँ !"
चाकू, राहुल के सिने में से जगह बनता हुआ उसके दिल को चीर गया. पहले से ही खून सने, सूट पर नया खून लग गया!
Monday, August 9, 2010
टूपी - टूपी, टप - टप!
नील शर्मा के एडिटर दोस्त आये,
'नमस्ते!' बोलते ही ठंडा - गरम खाने को जीभ लप लप हुए जाए.
अब पूछेंगे सब का बायोडाटा,
अरे, कोई समझायो इन्हें, खुद का लड़का पांचवीं फेल फिर भी दूसरों का ही छापना होता है परचा.
फटाक से बोल पड़े, 'कहाँ है आपका छोटा बेटा?'
'जी, वो कविता लिख रहा है', आया जवाब,
'उसकी उम्र क्या है?'
'अभी ६ के हुए हैं छोटे नवाब!'
'क्लास में भी आता है फर्स्ट या कविता लिखना ही है उसका इंटरेस्ट?'
'जी, उसे तो ना द्राविड या दादा बनने की है चिंता...
लोलीपोप मुंह में दबाये लिखता रहता है कविता!'
'यह तो हो गया ज़ाकिर हुसैन वाला 'वाह',
'जी, काहे का वाह, कविता लिख - लिख १० - १५ कापियां हैं भर डाली..
और, प्रेशर के टाइम में भी कॉपी उठा कर चला जाता है शुरू करने पानी का प्रवाह...
अब, नितिन को कौन समझाए...
गिल्ली - डंडे से किसी की आँख न फोड़े, ना पतंग के पेचे लड़ाए!'
'शर्मा इतना भी मत बनो शय - शय,
तेरे घर फरहान अख्तर है बैठा,
फिर भी तुझ जैसा जावेद युस ना करे दये,
अब, तू मस्त होकर पि बौर्न - विटा,
कल, तेरी तन और मन की शक्ति बढ़ाएगा वाई - फाई.'
रविवार के दिन ६ बजे ही नील शर्मा के घर इक्कठा हो गया मीडिया,
शर्मा जी, ने दरवाज़ा खोला और मीडिया को भागने का ढूंढने लगे आईडिया.
'यहाँ, लंगर होने वाला है या है यह भक्तों की टोली,
थोड़े कूल - कूल होकर आयो, बाथरूम जाने की मेरी अब आई है बारी!'
मीडिया वालों ने खुला दरवाज़ा देख कर अन्दर धावा बोला,
बम - बम बोलते उनके पीछे जा रहे शर्मा जी का दिल रिंगा - रिंगा डोला.
लो, जिस महान पोएट को ना जागने के लिए शर्मा साहब सबको इशारा कर रहे थे की बोलो आहिस्ता....
वो, नितिन शर्मा ने तो शुरू कर दी थी अपनी कविता.
अब, शुरू होंगे मीडिया के सवाल,
नील शर्मा जी के लाल - लाल हुए जाएँ गाल.
इससे, पहले पूछा जाता कोई सवाल..
नितिन ने मुंह में डाल लिया लोलीपोप, और बोला.
'ओ अंकलों मुझे किड्नाप करने आये हो?...जल्दी, करो पर पहले मेरा स्कूल बैग उठा लो!'
'बेटा, इमरान का करियर लुटने के बाद, आमिर ने हम से रनबीर की किड्नापिंग की शपथ है खिलवायी....
तुम्हे कविता लिखनी कबसे आई?'
'ऐसे, बेतुके शब्दों को फिर से जोड़ कर अगर बनाया तुम अंकलों ने सेंटेंस...
निरूपा रॉय की कसम, तोड़ दूंगा तुम्हारे तेलेविसीन सेट कूद के तुम्हारी फेन्स!'
'मगर.....'
'कविता के बारे में जानना ही है तो लोलीपोप का लायो डब्बा..
साइड, हटो मुझे जाने दो बाथरूम विद माय डब्बा!'
नितिन की लोलिपोपों की लोटरी लग गयी,
और फिर नितिन बोल ही उठा...
'अरे, अंकल्स कविता मेरी कविता का नहीं मेरी गर्लफ्रेंड का नाम है...
ये, आदात मुझे मुकेश भैया ने है डाली,
क्यूँ की उनकी गर्लफ्रेंड का नाम है दीपाली.
पर, आप लोगों ने मेरी लोलीपोप की लोटरी लगा दी,
लो, एक कॉपी ले जायो,
इस में मैंने कविता है भरी हुयी,
अगली, बार आयोगे तो ले के आने तंदूरी नान के साथ चिकेन बिरयानी!'
'नमस्ते!' बोलते ही ठंडा - गरम खाने को जीभ लप लप हुए जाए.
अब पूछेंगे सब का बायोडाटा,
अरे, कोई समझायो इन्हें, खुद का लड़का पांचवीं फेल फिर भी दूसरों का ही छापना होता है परचा.
फटाक से बोल पड़े, 'कहाँ है आपका छोटा बेटा?'
'जी, वो कविता लिख रहा है', आया जवाब,
'उसकी उम्र क्या है?'
'अभी ६ के हुए हैं छोटे नवाब!'
'क्लास में भी आता है फर्स्ट या कविता लिखना ही है उसका इंटरेस्ट?'
'जी, उसे तो ना द्राविड या दादा बनने की है चिंता...
लोलीपोप मुंह में दबाये लिखता रहता है कविता!'
'यह तो हो गया ज़ाकिर हुसैन वाला 'वाह',
'जी, काहे का वाह, कविता लिख - लिख १० - १५ कापियां हैं भर डाली..
और, प्रेशर के टाइम में भी कॉपी उठा कर चला जाता है शुरू करने पानी का प्रवाह...
अब, नितिन को कौन समझाए...
गिल्ली - डंडे से किसी की आँख न फोड़े, ना पतंग के पेचे लड़ाए!'
'शर्मा इतना भी मत बनो शय - शय,
तेरे घर फरहान अख्तर है बैठा,
फिर भी तुझ जैसा जावेद युस ना करे दये,
अब, तू मस्त होकर पि बौर्न - विटा,
कल, तेरी तन और मन की शक्ति बढ़ाएगा वाई - फाई.'
रविवार के दिन ६ बजे ही नील शर्मा के घर इक्कठा हो गया मीडिया,
शर्मा जी, ने दरवाज़ा खोला और मीडिया को भागने का ढूंढने लगे आईडिया.
'यहाँ, लंगर होने वाला है या है यह भक्तों की टोली,
थोड़े कूल - कूल होकर आयो, बाथरूम जाने की मेरी अब आई है बारी!'
मीडिया वालों ने खुला दरवाज़ा देख कर अन्दर धावा बोला,
बम - बम बोलते उनके पीछे जा रहे शर्मा जी का दिल रिंगा - रिंगा डोला.
लो, जिस महान पोएट को ना जागने के लिए शर्मा साहब सबको इशारा कर रहे थे की बोलो आहिस्ता....
वो, नितिन शर्मा ने तो शुरू कर दी थी अपनी कविता.
अब, शुरू होंगे मीडिया के सवाल,
नील शर्मा जी के लाल - लाल हुए जाएँ गाल.
इससे, पहले पूछा जाता कोई सवाल..
नितिन ने मुंह में डाल लिया लोलीपोप, और बोला.
'ओ अंकलों मुझे किड्नाप करने आये हो?...जल्दी, करो पर पहले मेरा स्कूल बैग उठा लो!'
'बेटा, इमरान का करियर लुटने के बाद, आमिर ने हम से रनबीर की किड्नापिंग की शपथ है खिलवायी....
तुम्हे कविता लिखनी कबसे आई?'
'ऐसे, बेतुके शब्दों को फिर से जोड़ कर अगर बनाया तुम अंकलों ने सेंटेंस...
निरूपा रॉय की कसम, तोड़ दूंगा तुम्हारे तेलेविसीन सेट कूद के तुम्हारी फेन्स!'
'मगर.....'
'कविता के बारे में जानना ही है तो लोलीपोप का लायो डब्बा..
साइड, हटो मुझे जाने दो बाथरूम विद माय डब्बा!'
नितिन की लोलिपोपों की लोटरी लग गयी,
और फिर नितिन बोल ही उठा...
'अरे, अंकल्स कविता मेरी कविता का नहीं मेरी गर्लफ्रेंड का नाम है...
ये, आदात मुझे मुकेश भैया ने है डाली,
क्यूँ की उनकी गर्लफ्रेंड का नाम है दीपाली.
पर, आप लोगों ने मेरी लोलीपोप की लोटरी लगा दी,
लो, एक कॉपी ले जायो,
इस में मैंने कविता है भरी हुयी,
अगली, बार आयोगे तो ले के आने तंदूरी नान के साथ चिकेन बिरयानी!'
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