Tails of Low I.Q. - Book by Karan Virk (Sixth Pandav)

 


“Waaaaaaaaaaah (Wooooooooooow) Taj!” is a common quote said by most tourists while witnessing the beauty of Taj Mahal. There must be something in India that makes it the center of attention. Housing 28 states and 7 Union Territories, India is the most diverse country in the world. Every corner of this vibrant country contains a mixture of its share of architecture, regional culture, and crazy issues resulting in mind fracture. This book contains stories cooked with a ‘Desi – Tadka’, sprinkled with Indian Masala.
I have written many of these stories during my school days and hopefully will be wandering the streets of India in future. My earlier ‘Emotional’ Pichkaris (Holi Water Guns) failed to bring me success, while filmmakers like Anurag Kashyap & Sudhir Mishra easily achieve success by exploring the dark depths of human mind. So, I have turned to ‘Low I.Q.’ and started my journey from a new perspective. My pseudonym is “Sixth Pandav” because I relate to (& share my name) with Karan from mythological epic Mahabharata who was a rebel in true sense.

I would like to thank my family, friends, and mentors for their support. My teachers from Kirpal Sagar Academy, Teja Singh Kandhari School, Modern Senior Secondary School, for their teachings. Personal thanks to the online masterminds who helped me gain a vision by analyzing their visions of Comic Groups, Storywrite Website, Allpoetry Website, Blogger Groups etc.

A very special ‘Thank You’ to Mohit Sharma (Trendster / Trendy Baba) without whom this project would have had never been created. He has provided commendable support by helping and guiding me through every part of this ‘Indie’ experience!

- Ivanpreet Singh Virk (Karan Virk) “Sixth Pandav”

Tails of Low I.Q. (Flop Fiction) 

1.    Paperback 

Pothi

http://pothi.com/pothi/book/karan-virk-sixth-pandav-tails-low-i-q

Dorrance

http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/tails-of-low-iq-%28flop-fiction%29/18885554

2.     Ebook

Smashwords 

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/132158

Lulu

http://www.lulu.com/product/ebook/tails-of-low-iq-%28flop-fiction%29/18885570

Pothi

http://pothi.com/pothi/book/ebook-karan-virk-tails-low-i-q

Also available on I Proclaim, Cinnamon Teal Publisher & few other publishing channels.

Deadpooling For Twilight

'Um, Can you hear me? You there...Yes, I am talking to you...No, No...Don't close this page yet...Hey, don't even think about calling 9-1-1...Or, I will kidnap your dog and feed it to my cat...I have a big cat...Forget about that last line, my cat is allergic to dogs....Anyway...Wow!...You, must have a lot of free time...I forgot to introduce myself...Bond, James Bond!...Too cliche'd...How, about Bourne, Jason Bournde!...Or, simply Pool...Deadpool...Ha, Ha....Bonzai Mother...Hey, I never mind my language....Only, if Ryan Reynolds is playing me than I might have worked under a PG - 13 movie.....Whoa, look at how many words I wrote...Hey, Reader do you want to be mystified? Rattled? Dazzled? Satisfied? Well, if you are a female reader contact me...Only, ATTRACTIVE FEMALES...See, there is emphasis on the word 'ATTRACTIVE'...I prefer Redeheads...Ok, So I am going to tell you a story...The story is about our ANGRY YOUNG OGRE...............HULK......When, he met those...Can, you call them vampires? I don't think they are vampires...Whatever, they are! They are sparkly, they are white, and they are vegetarian!...Huh, Who wrote this script?...I bet a any guy named, 'Mohit Sharma' could write or even invent better poetic thoughts than this garbage. Oh, yes Hulk meets Twilight.'


Bella - No, It's too late!

Edward - I wanted to tell you this earlier, Bella....

Bella - OMG...This, guy likes other guys!

Edward - I can hear you. I am standing right here. Infact, I don't need you...Okay...I have fell in love with someone else...His name is....

Deadpool - Intense moment...See, this folks...I always knew he was not a vampire.

Bella - You are telling me you are H..Vomo...Fine, I am going with Taylor Swift...Er...Lautner.

Edward - His name is Jacob!

Bella - Obviously, you would know that. Should have known that you roll on the other side after you refused to bite me...Go, watch some Ricky Martin video you Vomo.

Edward - Why doesn't anybody let me come out of closet?

Deadpool - After, Bella leaves with Jacob, Edward puts on a Ricky Martin video while bringing a knife closer to his wrist...SHIT...This gay...Ahm!...guy is Emo too...And, all those times I read Twilight in Toilet...Augh...Let's see what Hulk is upto.

Bella - Good job boy. You are an amazing dog. Brownie points for that jump.

Jacob - I am not a dog, Bella. I am an werewolf.

Bella - Where Wuff? That's a terrible breed. I am going to call you Swiftner. A mix - up of Swift and Lautner.

Jacob - Sh! Hear something.

Bella - It's probably some animal using nature's resources. After all we are in Potty Fields!

Jacob - The voice is becoming louder...Hide me!

Bella - This is becoming a mystery. You are a guy, go check where the noise is coming from.

Jacob - I am not a guy...I mean, I am not going to go...You, go. You go girl.

Deadpool - UGA BOOGA BOOGAAAAA! Gotcha. Well, not really. You are just reading. I think the mystery sounds are not a mystery at all. I am going to go get aspirin. These, Twilight people have given me an headache. You, keep reading.

'SPARKLY PEOPLE, DISTURB HULK'S POO - POO TRAIN....HULK ANGRY.'

Jacob - It was her. She did it. I am just a dog.

Hulk - AAARR...Ahu - Ahu...SPARKLY PEOPLE EVEN TOOK HULK'S UNDERWEAR...HULK SMASH.

Bella - Give, him back his underwear.

Jacob - I don't have your underwear. Look, at your size. It won't fit me...Well, I could use it as a substitute for my broken trampoline...Ah, I can buy you a new one. Which, brand do you want? Gucci, Armani....Hmm...K - Mart?

Hulk - HULK BREAK WHITE BOYS AND GIRLS NECKS.

Jacob - I ain't white....I am original...Aboriginal...Native...Yaa, Maaan. Hoy you doin maaan. I am Babbu Maan..

Deadpool - Ha, Ha...The, guy is trying Jamaican accent!

Bella - Bacon, that's not native accent.

Jacob - Huh...Oh, I am Indian...Sorry, not white.

Hulk - INDIAN RESTAURENT GAVE HULK SPICY FOOD. MAKE, HULK CHILLY POO - POO TRAIN....HULK MORE MAD. HULK SMASH INDIAN BOY.

Jacob - Ahhh...He, broke my ribs.

Bella - He, didn't even touch you. Just, keep backing away. Animals, usually go away.

Hulk - HULK JUMPPPPPP!.

Deadpool - Ouch...Nice, Voilence Hulk. That scene was classic from all points...Yea, folks its a wrap - up...I think, I should use this underwear as a bed sheet...Yo, give me my paycheck for narration....By, the way I have set up a time bomb in your house..Ready to go in 3, 2, 1...Boom...Ha Ha!...That was just Gobar Gas...Kudos...Ciao!